


‘Pretty’

by eatmiantiao



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Bobby has a thing of calling Junhoe pretty, Camming, Crossdressing, Donghyuk and Junhoe are besties for the resties, Flowers, Jinhwan and Donghyuk would give up the world for Junhoe, Jinhwan is their disapproving bestie, M/M, Make Up, Old memories, Polyamory, Promises, Rape/Non-con Elements, Smut, gay relationships, junhoe is really pretty, mention of rape, sad stuff, smitten jiwon, triggering past
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-09-30 07:20:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 29,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17219450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eatmiantiao/pseuds/eatmiantiao
Summary: "Stop calling me pretty.""But I'm calling you what you are."In which, Bobby reignites Junhoe with his affinity in calling him a 'pretty'.





	1. 一

Junhoe loves black and white.  They were the pure colors and the best to compliment anything.  He loved a leather jacket, maybe even a jean jacket at times. 

What was the good of colors and anything bright?  They hurt your eyes.

The boy loved straight black coffee (well, actually he hated it, but he wouldn't allow anything less).  He loved all things rock music (okay, maybe not _all_ things rock.). And he especially hated flowers and all things _girly_. 

Though that did add up when Junhoe was hard on cash and the first place he went was the flower shop not too far from his college. 

_"I probably flunked it anyways," Junhoe explained to his friend Donghyuk, who looked at him with skeptical eyes._

_"Junhoe, you swear you hate flowers.  What business do you even have going straight there?" Donghyuk asked. "You could have gone to the school cafe not too far!"_

_"And see all of your ugly mugs? No thanks." Junhoe laughed as Donghyuk smacked at him. "Anyways, don't worry.  I won't be hired."_

_"I swear if you do we'll never let you live it down." Jinhwan snickered as he overheard the conversation of his two dongsaengs. Placing down their tray of French fries, he pulled a seat up._

_"Come on, I hate flowers! And I hate girly things!" Junhoe exclaimed._

_"Yet you always go straight to them."_

Sighing, Junhoe clipped the thorns on the roses.  Grumbling to himself, 'who knew no one else could properly categorize, clip, and re-water orchids?'

Though Junhoe had to admit this was a pretty nice gig, good pay and really cute girls came.  Girls, who he felt low sexual attraction to (something he's been looking into ever since he stepped into college).  It was like something just changed and girls just weren't doing it for him.  And he felt some envious mood anytime he saw them with their boyfriends.

Junhoe deemed that only meant he wanted his own jagiya. 

After finishing with the roses, Junhoe groaned seeing some of the petals got onto his black t-shirt.  There were some downfalls to only wearing two colors (they weren't _really_ colors, but Junhoe didn't look into logistics, now did he?). 

Maybe, just maybe, he should wear the pink apron he was assigned when he joined the team (that was just him and some other guy, but once again logistics weren't high on Junhoe's list!).  Junhoe smacked at the apron scoffing,

"I'd be caught dead rather than wear _that_."

Walking back up front, he put out more flower crowns.  He specialized in making them, he got all the money whenever someone bought them.  So, he couldn't pass up that offer.

Sometimes, very rarely, he'd wear one too.  And today happened to be one of those rare moments he put on a yellow flower crown he created that morning. 

He leaned against the counter and checked the inventory list, humming to himself to possibly drown out the bubble-gum music that played in the back.  Tapping his pen, he looked up in time to see his friends coming in causing the door's bell to ring.

"If it isn't the sunshine queen!" Donghyuk teased and dodged a wad of dead flowers with a narrow glide to the left.  Jinhwan tsked at them, picking up the litter and going over.

"Don't listen to him.  You're the _belle of the ball._ " Jinhwan snickered as Junhoe visibly fumed. 

"Screw you, I'm trying to make money!" Junhoe exclaimed.

"Has anyone even come in all day?" Donghyuk remarked.

"If you _must_ know... a mother and her daughter."  Junhoe sighed. "You know, the little girl who calls me 'Junnie! Cutie!'"

"That little girl is precious; you know you should really learn their names.  They're the most consistent customers you get here." Jinhwan lightly scolded their youngest.  Junhoe bristled under his gaze and murmured tiredly,

"What even brings you guys?"

"We brought you this!" Donghyuk put down a pink bubble tea before Junhoe, who grimaced at him. "It's rose flavored."

"Don't patronize me," Junhoe grumbled taking the sweet flavored and slurping it down, humming in delight.

"Look who's drinking my patronizing bev—"

"Can you two not argue right now?" Jinhwan scoffed as he pushed himself up on the counter.  Junhoe put a blue flower crown on Jinhwan's head, reaching across he dropped an orange one on Donghyuk's head.

"Two dollars please." Junhoe teased as they gave him a dollar each.  Cackling, he pocketed their money and squatted down behind the counter to organize the desk.  As he did such, the doorbell rang as a group came in.

"Junhoe—"

Junhoe sprung up, thinking it would be a group of cute girls as he chirped, "Welcome to Minnie's! How may I help you?"

"Oh." The guy with the puffy blonde hair went, Junhoe sighed now actually seeing his customers.  Four guys, not Junhoe's target for such a pleasant greeting.

"Can we talk to someone who works here?" The boy with the bandaid across his face asked, it was puffy and kiddy like.  Junhoe immediately turned as his friends snickered.

"You're talking to the only employee on the floor!" Donghyuk chortled as he fell over and behind the tulips. 

"Oh! I'm sorry! You're just— you don't _look_ —" The boy stopped again seeing Junhoe's face of offense. "— OH GOD! I _mean_ you're just not... you... Girls have this job— but there's nothing _wrong_ with a guy having such a weak job— _Oh_ _no_ —"

"What my friend is trying to say it..." The boy with the blonde puffy hair. "Is that he's stupid."

"I guessed that." Junhoe scoffed. "I hope you didn't want my help."

"Junhoe, you have to help them.  It's kind of your job." Jinhwan remarked and Junhoe rolled his eyes, turning to them he sighed.

"What... What do you want?" Junhoe regraded then with a cold tone now, the boys squirmed looking around sighing.

"Well, we go to the university close by and our professor's been sad lately." The youngest looking started. "We wanted something to show we're thinking about her and understanding her."

"Ah..." Junhoe walked around the counter leading them. "Follow, Follow."

"So, What are your names?" Donghyuk, being the little angel he was (Junhoe _had_ to laugh at that 'angel'), questioned.

"I'm Kim Hanbin." The boy with the bandaid on his face chirped as he smiled at Donghyuk, who smiled returned an even brighter smile.

"I'm Kim Donghyuk." Junhoe's friend outstretched his hand to Hanbin as they continued following Junhoe who scoffed.

"I'm Song Yunhyeong, this is Jung Chanwoo." The boy with the puffy blonde hair introduced as he smacked a hand on the youngest boy's shoulder.

"And I'm—" The goofiest looking guy started, but tripped over himself and into the vases causing them to fall over and break.  Junhoe scowled at him now, seething with anger.

"I won't... make you pay for that." Junhoe huffed.

"Thanks." He laughed as he fluffed his purple hair (Junhoe decided then and there purple was probably the worst color _after_ pink).

"Whatever, just watch it." Junhoe hissed as he went to a fridge containing the flowers.

"Well, I'm—"

"I don't care." Junhoe took out a beautiful vase of pink and purple hydrangeas.  Junhoe softly gazed at the flowers sighing, "These are hydrangeas.  The pink ones represent heartfelt emotion and the purple ones symbolize a desire to deeply understand someone. It will show her you understand what she's going to and that she deserves a sort of happiness."

"They're so pretty." The boy, Junhoe could care less about, muttered softly. "Let's get them."

"Yeah.  We get this vase too?" Yunhyeong asked.

"Yes, would you like me to wrap it?" Junhoe inquired as he placed the vase on the counter.  Walking around he scanned the tag, looking back up at them.

"Yeah! Do yellow!" Chanwoo exclaimed then stopped, "Please."

"Is it extra?" Hanbin asked with a raised brow.

"No!" Jinhwan quickly exclaimed and Junhoe looked at him.

"Actually... we'll pay for everything for you," Donghyuk said it softly looking Hanbin up and down. "If... you'd allow it."

"That's $32.50!  Are you su—" The boy, who was still nameless, grabbed Hanbin covering his mouth.

"You're not older than us." He said referring to Donghyuk who just shrugged.

"Can't I do something nice for my hyungs?" Donghyuk teased as he gave Junhoe his money.  Jinhwan throwing in his part. Junhoe snorted to himself, he just met them and he's already calling them Hyung?

"Who's name should it be under?" Junhoe asked bitterly.

"Kim Jiwon— or Bobby."  The boy, finally, said his name looking at Junhoe with a raised brow.  Junhoe scoffed once again as he punched it in.

"You get a rose thrown in for free because you've evidently spent over 50 dollars here." Junhoe sighed.

"Ah... Could you get that prepared for me?  Wrap it in cute pink paper please." Bobby gazed at Junhoe with a look he couldn't shake, sighing he grabbed the flowers in their vase and walked away to do his job.

Coming back, he placed the neatly wrapped vase and flowers down, the blue bow matching greatly.  And handed Bobby the rose.

Junhoe watched them as they looked at him.

"You going to give it to that girl at the school cafe?" Chanwoo teased, the purple haired boy shook his head.

"No?  What about... Wendy from Calc?" Hanbin joked.

"Oh no! No! I know, he's going to give it to Jisoo from Music Management." Yunhyeong lightly laughed, but Jiwon shook his head.  Though, Junhoe was not back to ignoring them.  Sipping on his bubble tea as he fixed some branches on a plant.

"Ahem." Jiwon cleared his throat and Junhoe didn't think much of it, but his friends sat there with giant eyes.  Slowly, he turned to look seeing Bobby holding up the precious rose in it's pink wrapping.

"Excuse me?" Junhoe whispered.

"For the prettiest princess, I've ever seen." The purple haired boy tucked the flower in his hand and smile wide as Junhoe actually choked.  His face was red and he felt so jarred.

"You called me _WHAT_?"  Junhoe exclaimed and suddenly the boys were rushing out.

"Don't swing that way? Sorry! Thought you should know!" Bobby yelled as they exited the store.  Quickly he ran back and opened it again yelling,

"You're so pretty in your flower crown!"

"Get out!" Junhoe hollered and the door shut again.  Taking a deep breath, he looked over to his friends who were cackling at his misery.

"He called you a pretty princess!"  Donghyuk's snickered.

"Oh, that's precious, Junhoe.  Don't you think?" Jinhwan cooed.

"If you think it's so precious, you go after him." Junhoe scoffed and looked down at the rose.  Looking at it, he softened and sighed, which he quickly caught and yelled,

"No!"

As he threw it onto the flower and right along with it came the crown.  His foot came down on the items repeatedly as if he was trying to get a point across, but to who?  Bobby was gone, so all he was doing was wasting money and hurting a perfectly fine flower.

"Yeah, that was smart." Donghyuk snorted once Junhoe stopped and pouted now. "Hot guy gave you a flower and you stomped on it."

"I don't like guys.  I don't like flowers.  And I don't like being called 'pretty'." Junhoe insisted.

"Yeah, keep telling yourself that."


	2. 二

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe has a visit from his elder brother and his significant other.

Finally, it was Wednesday.  Junhoe's first day off during the week; the shop only being open Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday (a Sunday here and there during holidays especially). 

His mind could finally relax.  He was even excited, he'd be seeing his older brother and his partner today.  So, Junhoe wanted to look good.  Though, none of his go-to clothes were washed.  Not one black shirt, not one white top. 

Whipping out his phone, he messaged the group chat with him and his two friends.

 ** Juneyaaaaaa **  
**Hey, I didn't wash any of my clothes.  You guys mind if I borrow anything?**

 ** DongDong **  
**Don't you have that cute pink shirt in there? The one you wore for church?**

 ** Nani **  
**You should wear that! Pair it with Dongii's black cardigan. Hyung will /love/ it. It'll be like your his little damsel in distress all over again.**

 ** Juneyaaaaaa **  
**No.  I rather /die/.**

 ** Nani **  
**Do it.   You won't die. Make your hyung happy.**

 ** DongDong **  
**Yeah, 'pretty princess'. Be a good little dongsaeng .**

 ** Juneyaaaaaa **  
**Blocked.**

Rolling his eyes, Junhoe threw his phone on his bed and opened it closer to see the infamous pink blouse. It was for _girls_. His mom accidentally bought it from the juniors section and they didn't know this until his brother looked at the tag.

Junhoe was humiliated _then_ and he felt humiliated _now_.

Even so, he still put it on with a pair of black denim jeans along with white and black vans. Looking at himself as he brushed his hair. He grumbled,

"I actually look like a bitch."

Though he knew Jinhwan was right, his hyung (and his significant other) would love to see just a hint of color on him. It would remind him of the old days when Junhoe relied on him for everything.  Sadly, he still did for somethings.

Sitting in the school cafe, Junhoe waited stirring his ice tea. Junhoe was nervous now, he hadn't seen them in sometime and he felt obligated to give back what he owed (even if he didn't technically _owe anything,_ but he couldn't help himself).

Junhoe just let him fall into a relaxed aura as he sipped his ice tea and scrolled through his phone.  Once in a while, double tapping someone's picture to like it.  Going to his 'following' to see what was happening with who he follows and their activity; he saw Donghyuk ( _who was working just behind the counter)_ had followed a 'shxxbi131', checking the account he saw it was bandaid boy— Kim Hanbin. 

"Are you actually serious?" Junhoe whispered to himself in disbelief.  They met them literally Monday and Donghyuk had stalked his way to this man's social media.  Yet, he still had a sense of pride and shame towards his friend's antics.

Being so absorbed, he didn't hear the footsteps approach his table, nor the cups coming down on the table.

"Who's that handsome fellow?" The first person spoke and it jarred Junhoe, who quickly caught his phone that was flung and stabled his drink.  Daesung, the person who just spoke, laughed at him. 

"You shouldn't scare him like that, angel.  You know he's just a baby." Seunghyun, his older brother, teased as he took off Daesung's jacket.  Junhoe laughed at them with mock humor, rolling his eyes at them. 

"Hey." Junhoe got down now, finally, he wrapped his arms around Daesung in a hug.  Then he felt a soft kiss to his cheek making Junhoe flush and whine,

"Sungie, _please_ "

"You've always been my little whiner, ever since I started dating your hyung." Daesung fondly rubbed Junhoe's face and frowned,

"You haven't been eating.  You've lost weight."  Was all he muttered and Junhoe averted his eyes.

"Just to save up more money, so I can pay you back." Junhoe looked to Seunghyun, who pulled him into a hug causing Junhoe to let out a begrudge grumble.

"Didn't I tell you..." Seunghyun pushes Junhoe's chin up to look at him. "That you're my responsibility and as my responsibility, I will pay for all the things you need.  Tuition, books, food, and more?"

"It's not fair to you guys." Junhoe whispered, taking out his envelope he offered it to Seunghyun, "please take this check."

"No, you worked for it." Seunghyun pushed it away. "We came to see you.  Not for money, to hear about how it is to make that money and enjoy your company, see your friends and just be with you."

Junhoe climbed back into his chair, feeling a warmth inside him as he looked to Daesung and Seunghyun. The two looked at him with fond and paternal smiles.  Daesung was like the mother Junhoe never had and Seunghyun was the father he always dreamed to have.

Junhoe and Seunghyun are orphans.  Seunghyun had their true mother and father for some time, and a sister even, but then Junhoe came.  Their parents made some cuts to their family.  Seunghyun denied leaving his baby brother, so, they left him too.  Their sister didn't even stick up for them.

Ever since then it was just them.  Seunghyun taking care of Junhoe and raising him.  They never did get adopted either.  There was always some sort of issue for them to be adopted; either someone wanted Junhoe and not Seunghyun, someone wanted Seunghyun, but not Junhoe or they decided all the way in they wanted neither.  It was always something.

And then finally Seunghyun got of age, having worked many jobs, and saving up money. He bought an apartment and took them to their new home.  Then fatefully one day, he met the love of his life Kang Daesung when they were shopping for more clothes for Junhoe.  They had met someone who was rather alone himself too.  He was so kind to Junhoe, his eyes twinkled anytime he ever looked at Junhoe.  And even better, Junhoe _loved_ 'Sungie' just as much.

Soon enough, it wasn't like they weren't ditched by their family more like they were working to build a better a family; one they all deserved.

"How's Creative Writing?" Seunghyun asked and Junhoe shrugged.

"I love it.  I like all my classes really." Junhoe sighed.

"Though, you feel like you could have something better?" Daesung asked with a tilted head.  Junhoe nodded with a soft groan.  He felt like he was missing something, he could do all of these classes, but he wasn't always having fun.

"That's normal." Seunghyun chuckled. "And if you want to change classes or majors.  I'm all for it and always will be for it.  Even if you're about to graduate."

"I can't do that when I graduate." Junhoe snickered.

"Hey! I'm trying to be supportive." Seunghyun teased and Junhoe nodded, Seunghyun has always been behind Junhoe for whatever he wanted to do.  Things that maybe Junhoe shouldn't do (according to other people).

"I appreciate that." Junhoe softly smiled.

"And how's Minnie's Place?" Daesung questioned and Junhoe rolled his eyes.

"Disgusting as ever," Junhoe remarked and the two laughed softly.

"You us—"

"Hyungs!" Donghyuk chirped as he came over holding a tray with Honey Sponge Cake and Sweet Rice Drink. He placed it down in front of them and hugged the two older males quickly. "I didn't see you order and they told me it for this table; I took the order right away!"

"Oh, I love you so much Dongii. You're such an angel." Daesung tittered as he squeezed his cheeks.

"He's a devil," Junhoe grumbled.

"Now, that's enough 'pretty princess'." Donghyuk snickered causing Daesung and Seunghyun to look at Junhoe with raised brows in utter suspicion.

"Who's a pretty princess?" Seunghyun scoffed.

"No one." Junhoe gritted.

"Some hot guys came to the shop on Monday. One of them was eyeing Junhoe _fierce._ And he's been to the shop before and spent a certain amount of money, so he got a free rose, which once received he gave to Junhoe and called him the 'prettiest princess he's seen'.". Donghyuk retold the story as Junhoe's ears got red once again, his cheeks dusting a pink. He could hear his heart in his chest just thumping, it felt like it would burst out at any moment.

"Oh, so you _have_ met someone." Daesung turned to him with a predatory look.

"I don't like guys," Junhoe muttered.

"You used to." Seunghyun corrected and Junhoe bristled at this. "You can't let your past experiences harden your heart Junhoe. Guys aren't all the same."

"I thought I didn't like guys after my last boyfriend hurt me so bad, but look at me now. I have your brother." Daesung looked to Seunghyun with a soft smile and the older gently pushed Daesung's blue locks from his face.

"You can't be afraid." Seunghyun looked back to Junhoe.

"I didn't come here for a lecture. I just don't like guys and I don't like him. I'm not pretty, boys can't be pretty and they can't be princesses." Junhoe scoffed.

"Who said?" This was a new voice, a familiar voice. One that made Junhoe's heart drop and make him turn his whole body to the window.

"Hi Bobby," Donghyuk said with light flirtation in his voice making Bobby laugh softly.

"Hey Dong, Hanbin's been searching everywhere for you," Bobby responded and Donghyuk gasped softly,

"Is he here?"

"Yeah, at the counter. It'll take him a good five minutes to even pick anything." Bobby stated as Donghyuk waved to them before rushing to the counter that did, in fact, have Hanbin standing at the register's counter, looking very perplexed. Junhoe hated the way he felt happy seeing how Hanbin literally lights up seeing Donghyuk behind the counter.

"Junhoe, would you like to introduce us?" Seunghyun looked to Junhoe then at Bobby.

"No." Junhoe scoffed.

"Koo Junhoe, you introduce us to this fine young man right now." Daesung snapped and Junhoe rolled his eyes, not budging.

"It's okay hyungs. I'm Kim Jiwon, a lot of people call me Bobby. I was in Junhoe's shop a few days ago, so, we're not really friends." Bobby informed and the two nodded at him.

"Well, I'm his older brother, Choi Seunghyun. Long story short, our mom married again after having me. But we're blood. Oh— oh and this is my boyfriend, Kang Daesung." Seunghyun gestured to Daesung who smiled at Bobby with a big one.

"I think I'll call you Wonnie," Daesung muttered and Bobby broke into an even bigger smile(and it _wasn't_ the most beautiful smile Junhoe's ever seen).

"I'm okay with that hyung." Bobby laughed softly and then looked to Junhoe. "You're wearing pink."

"So?" Junhoe pulled on his cardigan, "What about it?"

"I've seen you around and I've never seen you wear anything outside of a grey." Bobby teased as his hand came dangerously close to Junhoe's cardigan, which was cut short by Junhoe smacking his hand away.

"Don't you dare touch me." Junhoe hissed and Bobby put his hands up in mock surrender as he looked to Seunghyun and Daesung, muttering out,

"Is he always this defensive?"

"You shouldn't just touch people you barely know," Junhoe remarked ignoring Seunghyun and Daesung nodding to answer Bobby's question.  Bobby slowly turned back to look at Junhoe with a soft, fond smile, even faced with Junhoe's scowl, one that's made children weep, women run, and men beg for their lives and Bobby just _smiled_ at him as if it was the cutest thing he's seen all day.

"I'm sorry, you're right." Bobby sighed rubbing his hand through his purple locks.  Junhoe's stomach went into knots the way this guy looked at him with those eyes.  Quickly, Junhoe shook his head clearing his throat,

"Well, yes.  Yes, that's true."

"Such a fine gentleman," Daesung remarked as he looked Bobby up and down, Junhoe turned to look at Daesung with wide eyes. "Sorry, sorry.  I'm not supposed to say anything, I get it."

"College stuff," Seunghyun whispered to his boyfriend making him laugh.  Junhoe rolled his eyes at them grumbling,

"Their actually delusional, I can't believe—"

"Hey, Junhoe, Bobby hyung?" Hanbin now approached them.  Junhoe shoved his hand in his face and grumbled.

"Yeah?" Bobby looked Hanbin, taking a muffin and a milk tea from him, muttering this. 

"Donghyuk and I exchanged numbers—" Hanbin didn't even wait to elbow Bobby as he grinned wide with satisfaction, "—We're going to try and get us all together."

"You can stop that right there because I will not be apart." Junhoe bristled turning his head away from the two guys, turning to the couple across from him.

"I think you should go." Daesung now spoke up reaching across to grab Junhoe's cardigan-covered-hand. "You need to make friends."

"Can we _not_ talk about this _in front_ of them?" Junhoe asked through gritted teeth.

"No, because they want you to be apart.  I think these boys you met are fine young men." Seunghyun nodded to them and Bobby's chest rose up as he looked to Junhoe who scoffed.

'Yeah, not when they break a vase and you need to take that up with your boss.' Junhoe thought to himself with a grumble in throat his throat.  

"Do this for us," Daesung whispered looked at Junhoe with soft eyes seeing Junhoe still being resistant.  He couldn't fight the mothering eyes or the fathering gaze from them.  The way they just guilted him with a look.

" _Fine,"_ Junhoe answered albeit by force. 

"I'll be looking forward to seeing you." Bobby clicked his tongue and then did something rather jarring.  Gently he brushed Junhoe's black locks behind his ear as he gazed at him as he whispered,

"I'll miss your pretty face until we meet again."

And as quick as it happened, he was gone; leaving Junhoe to see there with red cheeks and a pounding heart.  Along with two older males staring at him with happy looks.

"I like him." Daesung summed up with a smile.

"Of course you do." Junhoe snorted turning anyway.  And Junhoe knew somewhere in him, he probably did too, but he didn't want that. 

He couldn't have that.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hopefully, this was a good second chapter. Possibly my favorite part is when Junhoe messaged 'Blocked', but is that plot? No. 
> 
> Yes, I did, in fact, sneak TODAE in here and so what of it? To preface this, Lee Seunghyun and Koo Junhoe are half-siblings. The parents didn't want him and so, Seunghyun basically said 'fuck that' and Yejin didn't. More backstory to come, but that's the gist of those two. And of course, sweet angel Daesung is Seunghyun's boyfriend.
> 
> What are your thoughts so far? I hope it's acceptable.


	3. 三

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some reflection, Junhoe decides he'll give in. Old Junhoe can come back, for now.

Junhoe began dodging Jinhwan and Donghyuk's calls and messages. Avoiding them at work and just up front ignoring them, even locking himself in his room. He'd done it successfully for a whole two days.

Junhoe thought, ' _well maybe if I ignore everyone, no one can have me go out or do anything'_

He sighed softly knowing the true reason as well, he wouldn't have to face a certain purple-haired male. 

Maybe, just maybe he gave up trying to be unreachable due to the fact he showed up in the mall cafeteria and found Donghyuk and Jinhwan where they said they'd be. Junhoe softened seeing how happy they got seeing him.

"You don't have to go." Jinhwan immediately said as he reached up touching Junhoe's face softly. The elder male tried to hide his surprise at how Junhoe was so accepting of it, usually, he'd pull away quickly and try to act macho and tough.

"No, it's not that." Junhoe sat down and Donghyuk opened his arms, which were soon filled with his friend he missed dearly.

"You cut us off for two days," Donghyuk whispered. "It had to be something."

"Maybe I got scared," Junhoe admitted.

"Meeting new people?" Jinhwan asked softly.  Junhoe continued to lay his head on Donghyuk's shoulder, softly laughing as the boy's blonde locks tickled Junhoe's forehead.  Donghyuk wished they had more moments like this, Junhoe used to love hugs, kisses, and cuddles(for someone who loved skinship of all kinds, this was heaven).

Junhoe lifted his head and pulled himself away with a bit lip, he just nodded,

"I finally came to the conclusion that maybe Seunghyun is right and it's time to just give more people a chance," Junhoe remarked.  His mind went back to when he really began reflecting,

_Junhoe sat on his plush white bed, staring at himself in his body mirror. He only wore a black t-shirt that covered his milky-white thighs, a pink body pillow sitting in the cusp of his crisscrossed legs._

_Junhoe felt empty inside. He couldn't pinpoint if that felt worse than when he felt like he was dying earlier that morning._

_"They're just other guys your age." Junhoe hissed at himself. His reflection darkening as it glowered back at him. "You're so pathetic!"_

_'Me? You're the one who says you don't like boys. You're the one who won't allow himself happiness.' Junhoe would imagine his reflection would say, it would seem that way by how the reflection's mouth moved. Even if it was all in his head._

_"I don't... I don't like guys." Junhoe grumbled._

_'You love flowers. You love colors. You love all things cute, soft, and fluffy. You hate black and white now, you've subjected yourself and now—'_

_"No." Junhoe's eyes flickered and rubbed his face. "This isn't about that! It's about me opening up."_

_'Then do it. Don't be pathetic and talk to me.' Junhoe could feel the hot tears now as he sniffled._

_"I don't have anyone else," Junhoe whispered._

_'You only have yourself? Isn't that pathetic.' His reflection cackled at the crying boy._

_"I just... I'm scared." Junhoe mumbled into his pillow as he lowered his head. His eyes blinked slowly at his mirrored image that nodded in agreement._

_'When are you not? You live in fear.' The image sighed and Junhoe let out the same breath as he wiped his tears._

_"It won't hurt me," Junhoe whispered. "I'll be open to some change. Make more friends."_

_'Find someone to talk to.'_

"Junhoe, you okay?" Jinhwan asked softly and Junhoe looked at the two worried and just gave them a beam ready to rival the sun's own.

"Good!" Donghyuk cheered. "We're all good now."

"We're all good." Junhoe nodded, echoing his friend's words. 

"Are you going to shop with us?" Jinhwan stood up, cleaning the trash up.  He glanced at Junhoe who just made a soft 'mhm' as he rose up and followed.

The trio walked in step now.  Donghyuk slung his arm over Junhoe's shoulder, pulling Junhoe into him as he ruffled his black locks.  The hair was getting long and unruly, the two were hoping he wouldn't cut it.  Let himself live a little.

"So, how are you and Hanbin?" Junhoe suddenly asked as they went into their first store.  Donghyuk's face turned red as he let out a soft giggle.

"We... went on a date last night," Donghyuk whispered and Junhoe gasped loudly.

"I become a hobbit for two days and you go on a date?" Junhoe exclaimed.  Jinhwan chuckled as he held up a sweater, shaking his head at his younger counterparts. 

"That's what you get!  There's karma." Donghyuk playfully huffed and then laughed when Junhoe shoved him ever so lightly.  The technical youngest, frowned up as he crossed his arms.

"Pics or it didn't happen," Junhoe muttered and Donghyuk clicked his tongue taking his phone out.  Junhoe watched him open his messages and tap the top message over his and someone named 'Kimbap'.  Junhoe chuckled seeing the name read 'Beautiful Bin'.  His thumb flicked through their mess of a conversation and found something.

"Here!" Donghyuk put the phone in Junhoe's hand and he pressed on the screen lighting it back up to see Hanbin and Donghyuk sitting on a carnival bench.  Donghyuk's cheek was pressed into Hanbin's neck shyly looking at the camera and Hanbin's cheeks were rosy and puffy as ever. 

Junhoe tapped his fingers, scrolling the picture to open another, which depicted the two mouthing at a layered thing of cotton candy, shapped in a heart.  Junhoe noticed the way Hanbin was looking over at Donghyuk though. 

Once again, he tapped and this time it was a video.  Pressing the play button, his heart swelled,

_"Hi, this is Hanbin reporting on my date with the bombshell blonde and—"_

_"Binnie!" Donghyuk laughed as his hand came flying to hit Hanbin in the face playfully._

_"Oh, I've been struck by an angel!" Hanbin dramatized as he fell back on a wall.  Donghyuk crossed his arms at him as he laughed.  Hanbin chuckled as he fixed the giant panda strapped to his back._

_"You're so silly." Donghyuk hummed as Hanbin came up close and looked down at him with happy eyes._

_"Mm.  How was our date?" Hanbin asked, the sound of the carnival quieting down as he questioned his date._

_"It was... amazing." Donghyuk gave out the breathy answer as his cheeks reddened and he brought his arms around Hanbin's neck._

_"Would you go on another one... with me?" Hanbin laughed softly as Donghyuk joined in._

_"I would." He answered. "I don't know why, but I would."_

_"Perfect," Hanbin responded and then leaned in slotting their mouths together and the camera dropped, ending._

Junhoe couldn't deny the bitter feeling in his chest or how his lips began to curl in disdain and disgust. His heart was crying now, but not happily. He flicked through their messages more, seeing how cute they were and how much they liked each other.

Clearing his throat, he handed the phone back with a faux smile,

"You two are so adorable," Junhoe whispered and he meant it, but his heart was jealous. Junhoe had no idea why, (okay maybe that was a lie, but he didn't want to accept why).

"I can't wait for you to have your own," Donghyuk responded as he texted Hanbin back. He looked back to his friend and reached forward taking his hand; Donghyuk lifted his hand to his lips and kissed them.

"I..." Junhoe started.

"It will come, now go. Find something hideous in black for me to buy you." Jinhwan chided and Junhoe giggled like a school girl at him as he went away.

Junhoe's hand went through the articles of clothing after article of clothing. All either white, black or even grey. After his thousandth grey blazer, he wanted to vomit and brush his eyes.

Sighing, Junhoe turned his head and saw something so alluring on the female side.

Looking around, his friends were busy and intense on their own shopping. So, Junhoe slinked away from the male side of drab and grab to find something so beautiful and everything Junhoe would have worn before.

It was a bright yellow crop top hoodie. Matched with it were vibrant blue-denim-jean pants.

Junhoe's heart sung looking at it. His eyes welded wide as he grabbed at the two things in his size. Junhoe missed feeling...

"Pretty," Jinhwan whispered looking at it. "It's pretty."

"I wasn't..." Junhoe trailed looking at it because he was going to get it. They knew that.

"Get it. Even if you never wear it." Jinhwan remarked.

"Okay," Junhoe whispered as he hugged the outfit to himself. Suddenly, things weren't feeling so bad.

—

"We're meeting them for mini golf," Donghyuk states to Jinhwan who hummed softly.

"At that mini golf place 30 minutes from us right?" Jinhwan asked.

"Yeah, mini golf is fun and..." Donghyuk drones on to Jinhwan as the two sat ready and dressed as they waited on Junhoe. The boy was busy frowning at himself in the mirror as he wore what he bought the day prior, but now with a black tank top underneath because he was not comfortable enough with exposing his body and yellow converses he "borrowed" from Donghyuk.

After some time, he brushed his hair back. The fluffy locks just bounced back in his eyes and he rubbed his face.

_'It's been a while since you've felt this'_

"Hey... is this appropriate for mini golf?" Junhoe asked as he came in the dining area. All conversation ceased as the two gawked at Junhoe. 

"Junhoe, sweetheart, you look adorable." Jinhwan cooed as he went over to the taller boy.  Junhoe felt the flush in his cheeks, turning away he cleared his throat.

"R-Really?" Junhoe asked softly and Jinhwan pulled the resistant boy into a hug.  Gently, he rubbed his back and nodded.

"Just like old times." Jinhwan hummed and Junhoe sighed softly.

"I'm not the same," Junhoe whispered.

"No one is ever the same." Jinhwan agreed. "They grow and they change."

"Don't get all preachy on me." Junhoe groaned as he pushed away from their eldest friend. The latter patted Junhoe's hip as he kept hold to him. To be truly honest, both Jinhwan and Donghyuk were surprised Jinhwan's head wasn't bit off yet.

"You don't look stupid." Donghyuk stated and Junhoe physically relaxed as he looked to the ground with a shy expression, "You look great!  It's perfect for mini golf."

"You say that like mini golf is great." Junhoe grumbled.

"He's just excited, so he can feign ignorance and have Hanbin's arms around him for each stroke— if you see where I'm getting at." Jinhwan turned to grab a bag and his keys, Donghyuk choked on the remainder of his water while Junhoe howled with laughter. 

" _HYUNG_!" Donghyuk exclaimed and Jinhwan shrugged.

"Let's go mini golfing, the most cliche date ever." Junhoe sighed, "They better impress me."

It was like old times driving to the mini golf course. Junhoe was shotgun and Donghyuk was in the backseat, texting his boyfriend like the lovesick puppy he was. Then Donghyuk would lean up and complain to Junhoe for changing the song before even ended and the pair entered the course arguing,

"You can't just let one song play?" Donghyuk grumbled.

"Excuse me, but there are so many songs I want to hear and need to hear before the car ride ends." Junhoe defended and Donghyuk gaped at him then at Jinhwan who waved a hand.

"I don't know why you're so surprised.  He's been our friend for how long?" Jinhwan deadpanned.

"Too long if you ask me." Junhoe muttered and Donghyuk snorted, hitting him in the chest, "Ow! That's abuse!"

"Oh, I found them." Donghyuk ignored Junhoe's claim to harassment and grabbed his hand instead along with Jinhwan's as they went over to the boys sitting outside the mini golf course waiting.

"Angel!" Hanbin smiled and rushed over hugging Donghyuk.  Junhoe's eyes widen as he turned and faked gagged.

"Gross!" Chanwoo exclaimed and Junhoe stood up pointing at him with a nod. 

"You guys are just jealous.  You couldn't bag a fine specimen as myself!" Hanbin declared and then dodged Donghyuk's fist.

"What about me you idiot?" Donghyuk whined and Hanbin smiled kissing his cheek making Junhoe cover his eyes.

"I'm not even sure how I got you." Hanbin hummed.  Jinhwan and Yunhyeong cooed at the two, while Junhoe was ready to jump in the little draw-bridge river.

"Anyways, How was the drive up here?" Yunhyeong asked Jinhwan, the shorter boy gave him a beautiful smile with rosy cheeks.

"It was fine.  These two argued over the music, but I'm so used to it I didn't even notice." Jinhwan remarked and Yunhyeong nodded in agreement.

"I know right, they're such a pain in the ass." Yunhyeong nodded. "Especially the purple-haired one."

"Oh god, the black-haired one is adorable, but he has so much rage an—"

"Can you not talk trash about me right to my face?" Junhoe whined, crossing his arms over his chest, his lips unintentionally pouting. 

"Oh my god, you're so cute." Yunhyeong cooed and then reached to squeeze Junhoe's cheeks.  Donghyuk and Jinhwan braced themselves for Yunhyeong to scream about bit off a finger, give a broken wrist, or to fling an arm, but no.  Junhoe allowed it with a blush now on his cheeks.

"I like the yellow." Bobby hummed as he looked over at Junhoe. He pulled his head away from Yunhyeong's hand.

"Mm." Junhoe gave little to no acknowledgment to him. Junhoe still didn't like how his heart raced around him or how his hands clammed up too. There were so many things that happened to Junhoe when Bobby was around and him looking at Junhoe with such adoration was not helping.

"You're infamous for wearing black and white right?" Hanbin asked and Junhoe nodded.

"You look so pretty in yellow," Bobby said it and Junhoe perked up looking at him with a smile.

"R-Really? I just—" Junhoe stopped himself and turned away, looking to the booth, "—Are we going to play or not?"

"Yeah, let's go," Yunhyeong muttered, the group ignoring Junhoe's very bipolar attitudes and actions altogether.

The group got their putts and balls. Already Donghyuk had thrown his putt dramatically and called for Hanbin's expertise is the mini golf game. Jinhwan was just yucking it up with Yunhyeong, the self-proclaimed mini golf king (which Junhoe had to agree with the man had a mean stroke). Junhoe just stayed off quietly by himself.

"You know..." Chanwoo started talking to Junhoe, startling him hug a bit. "I'm not horrible at this game, but I'm not great either."

"I'm pretty good," Bobby added and then elbowed Junhoe playfully. "What about you?"

"I used to come here all the time." Junhoe gave a sad sigh. "I wasn't good, but he didn't care."

"An ex-boyfriend?" Bobby asked and Junhoe bit his lip. "You don't have to tell me."

"Good, I wasn't really feeling the need to," Junhoe admitted and the three laughed.

"Junhoe! You're up little chick!" Donghyuk exclaimed from Hanbin's arms. Junhoe flicked him off at the name and went over, putting down his pink ball Junhoe grabbed his putt with a shaky hand and sighed.

"Hey. Pro-tip; stick your butt out more." Bobby whispered as he came over. Junhoe glared at him.

"You just want to look at my butt." Junhoe hissed and Bobby gave a light smile.

"Can you blame me?" Bobby remarked and Junhoe rolled his eyes, "But seriously, put your butt out."

"Fine." Junhoe sighed.

"Grab the shaft of the putt  _firmly_ ," Bobby ordered and Junhoe re-shifted his hands and grip ignoring Donghyuk and Jinhwan's snickering.

"Yeah, grab the shaft—"

"Donghyuk I swear to god, if you don't shut up I'll show the pictures of you at camp." Junhoe threatened and Donghyuk shut up quickly.

"Okay, now, you're so tense." Bobby grabbed Junhoe's shoulders and mended into them and then slide a hand down Junhoe's back. "Relax."

"I can't when there's a hot stranger groping my body." Junhoe seethed and Bobby pouted.

"You think I'm hot?" Bobby teased and Junhoe snorted at his face and tone, body loosening at his words.

"Whatever. Anything else?" Junhoe asked.

"Breathe and swing." Bobby stepped back and Junhoe took in a breath and as his putt made collusion with the ball it breathed out. The group watched the ball go right for the hole and get Junhoe his hole-in-one even with all the treacherous obstacles around.

"Yah! That's cheating!" Chanwoo yelled.

"Hanbin, you didn't get me a hole-in-one!" Donghyuk accused.

"I'm the mini golf king and I've never got a hole-in-one on this hole!" Yunhyeong exclaimed.

"That's not fair. There's no way that's fair." Jinhwan grumbled as he crossed his arms.

Junhoe went over to Bobby with a soft smile as he nodded his head for him. Junhoe laughed pushing Bobby's hands in his chest due to the fact the older was doing the 'golfer-clap'.

"You're so annoying." Junhoe laughed and Bobby grinned taking his putt.

"But I'm annoyingly helpful right?" Bobby inquired and Junhoe rolled his eyes nodding in agreement. 

"Whatever," Junhoe remarked as they all went on for the next hole.

The game was fun and very entertaining if Junhoe had to add.  Yunhyeong would get things in one stroke, maybe two— a rare occasion of three.  Jinhwan would throw in his attempt and Yunhyeong would play for him, scoffing Junhoe had to condemn his friend for being a smart drama queen with impeccable prowess.  Chanwoo might have been the funniest, the way he would hit and hit without actually making contact with the ball, it had everyone's sides in stitches by the time the ball fell off the tee.  The maknae would then have a rant and rave about how everything was meaningless as he was five strokes in and then finally, just barely would the ball fall in.  It was safe to say, Chanwoo was losing no matter what.  Donghyuk didn't even pretend he didn't want Hanbin's arms around him guiding him through it (Junhoe had to admit his friend looks cute and happy).  Though, Junhoe every once in a while would yell,

"Grab his shaft real good!"

And Donghyuk would choke and Hanbin would nearly pass out.  The others would cackle until their lungs were almost dead.  Junhoe liked having a group to laugh with.

Hanbin himself was like Bobby.  They both would get holes-in-one and sometimes have five strokes too.  Bobby was just a bit better than Hanbin though, he could really win, if Junhoe wasn't winning. 

"Junhoe you sink this in, even with two strokes you win!" Bobby cheered.

"Why are you cheering me on?  If I get this in, you get 2nd place." Junhoe looked at him confused and Bobby softened as he just shrugged, Junhoe's poor eyes watching how Bobby's muscles that were on display defined and toned with the action.  Was Junhoe just lonely, is that what it was?

"I like cheering for pretty things." Bobby hummed and Junhoe turned away with a burning face, taking a breath.  He got into formation and swung.

"No way," Donghyuk whined watching the ball slowly slink it's way through the water, up the hill, past some windmills and over a draw-bridge that was rising and into the hole.

Junhoe's eyes widen as everyone cheered for him. All so excited and happy that he won. Though Junhoe stood there confused and shocked, he never expected himself to do good. In all his times of coming to a mini-golf course, he's never won. Turning his head seeing Bobby who was coming in with a bear hug, he just softened as he noticed as well,

_'No one's taken the time to help you'_

As the winner, they insisted he pick a place for them to eat. Junhoe decided on a fast food joint that served pizza, burgers, fries and more— it was more like Bobby decided and Junhoe just said 'whatever', but the gang didn't want to get into logistics. The place now only inhabited them and the workers.

Junhoe squeezed himself between Jinhwan and Chanwoo in the booth, Yunhyeong sat on the very end besides Jinhwan where the other end opened. Junhoe had a funny feeling about those two and would catch Chanwoo giving them both a certain  _look,_ but it wasn't any of his business he deemed.

Across from him sat Bobby who was bickering with Donghyuk over sharing a pizza and Hanbin was next to his boyfriend taking pictures of everyone and everything.

Junhoe pulled his hood up and felt himself flush pink as he waved his hand for Bobby to order whatever. Junhoe placed his head down and groaned to himself.

There were moments where Junhoe just disconnected from everything. Where his poor heart and mind were farther apart than they had ever been.

It was like reality broke and nothing made coherent sense anymore. Though Junhoe could  _clearly_ feel his heart beating, but to the scary point where it felt like it wanted to beat out of his chest. He was thinking irrationally and feeling jittery, but he wasn't moving— he knew that.

And looking at Bobby didn't help, especially with the couple of the hour cuddled up having one of their moments where they just whispered sweet nothings to each other. For fuck's sake, they just got together.

On top of that, here Junhoe was in a bright top and bright pants reigniting a feeling he hasn't felt since high school.  Junhoe felt stupid and probably looked it too, but he couldn't deny how comfortable he felt in this either.  How free he felt rather than his normal black and white wardrobe.

Junhoe quieted his mind as he just breathed.  It was just him and this table.  He listened to his friends order their meals and then a hand came under his hood and began to gently brush the hair from Junhoe's forehead.  It was big and strong, a hand that was about to touch his cardigan just days prior. 

"Yes, Bobby Hyung?" Junhoe moaned out lifting his head a little.  Bobby just pushed the hair back from his forehead and gave Junhoe a fond smile.

"I was just checking on you, are you okay?" He asked now.

"I'm just peachy," Junhoe grumbled moving his head away.  He didn't like Bobby, well he  _wanted_  to not like him so much, but there were too many redeeming qualities about the guy.

"Look at them, gross," Chanwoo muttered as he glared over at Jinhwan and Yunhyeong.  Junhoe and Bobby looked over at him, his little outburst startling the two since he had been so quiet.

"Yeah, gross." Junhoe laughed softly and Chanwoo patted his hip with an intense look.

"It's so gross, I want to switch seats with you," Chanwoo muttered and Junhoe furrowed his eyebrows at him.

"Well, if we're going to be friends.  I'll take one for the team and protect you from the grossness and sit by them." Junhoe remarked softly and Chanwoo shook his head.

"Hyung, I mustn't ask such a favor.  I would love to put my sanity on the line for you." Chanwoo declared and Junhoe scratched his head, but the feeling of Bobby across from him suddenly knocked some sense into him.

"Okay." Junhoe climbed over Chanwoo and the boy moved into his spot.  Junhoe was now happy not to be faced with Bobby and looking up, there was Hanbin and Donghyuk all nuzzled up.  Junhoe couldn't tell if that soured his mood more or made him feel just the same he did when looking at Bobby.

"'Cuse me." Bobby climbed over the couple that whined at their friend.  Hanbin moved them over with a groan.  Junhoe blushed looking down at his hands when Bobby smiled at him again, one ready to battle the sun's own radiance. 

Okay, Bobby was better than smelly old Donghyuk and his Quail of a boyfriend.

After some time, their food came and they all devoured it.  They sat and just relaxed, Yunhyeong at some point climbed out from his end. 

"Time to liven this place up!" Yunhyeong went to the jukebox. 

"No, grandpa shit!" Hanbin yelled and Jinhwan reached across smacking him.  "Sorry."

"Do you like to dance?" Bobby asked now.  He bit his lip as he carded a hand through his purple locks, his eyes eating at Junhoe who just shrunk at the gaze. 

"I..." Junhoe started with a pout.

"Junhoe loved to dance and sing when we were young!" Donghyuk yelled. "My best friend is a star!"

Junhoe blushed as he shook his head with a frown.  Old memories, old feelings.  Junhoe was new and new alpha male Junhoe didn't do those things.

"I just..." Junhoe stopped hearing the beginning of the song Yunhyeong chose.  A groan left Bobby along with Chanwoo, but Hanbin stood and began to dance to  _Red Flavor_ by Red Velvet.

Junhoe grumbled as he went in on himself.  He would not dance to  _this._   He'd rather die than do that. 

Hanbin and Yunhyeong were having a blast though.  Soon enough, Hanbin had pulled Donghyuk out of his seat and the two hair Donghyuk dancing with him. 

Junhoe refuses to get up as Bobby gave a sad look as they yanked him up too.  Though he did get a kick out of how stressed out Bobby looked trying to follow their movements.

Another, as Junhoe called it, a bubblegum song came on and they got Jinhwan and Chanwoo to join them.  Junhoe had to admit they looked like they were having lots of fun.

He rose from his spot, dodging their hands and arms.  Going to the jukebox.  Grumbling softly as he looked through the options. 

He wanted to join in.

Old Junhoe could come back, even if it was for just a night.

Junhoe smiled hearing the confusion as  _Bbibbi_ by IU came on.  He hated to admit this was possibly his favorite song.

"Junhoe, Junhoe— did you put that on?" Jinhwan called in confusion.

Junhoe turned around as he bounced up and down to the music doing same dance moves from the song and then came up close as he used his fingers to pick at his yellow hoodie and launched into song and dance,

" _Yellow C-A-R-D.  If you cross this line, it's a violation, beep..."_ Junhoe grinned at their shocked looks, his voice was soft and fluttery and he was spot on with his dancing.  Continuing on his danced at Bobby tapping his nose as he went, " _Hello stu-P-I-D."_

"Hey now!" Bobby yelled and they were laughing, amused and happy with Junhoe.  They were all dancing now.  Trying to follow Junhoe who knew every word and every move. 

Sad this wouldn't last.

"You're amazing." Bobby hugged Junhoe, the boy gave an uncomfortable look, but let him keep his arms around him.  They felt nice around him.

"You still got it, but I think I'm still the better dance," Donghyuk remarked. 

"Junhoe, Donghyuk!  I think you guys will like the next one." Jinhwan came back over and smiled at their new friends, "you too."

"What is it—"

They all stopped hearing  _Haru Haru_  by the infamous BIGBANG.  So much nostalgia rushed through them now.  Hanbin made them laugh as he did the intro,

"Yeah, finally I realize, that I'm nothing without you.  I was so wrong, forgive me."  Hanbin dramatized as they laughed. 

Junhoe rubbed his face as they waited for the chorus, then it came and they were jumping around and dancing like it was just released.  The boys were yelling and screaming the lyrics. 

Junhoe felt tears on his own face.  Wiping at them he just threw himself into the night.  Then he felt Bobby's arms back around him and Junhoe laughed as he wiped his face more. 

"I got you beautiful." Bobby hummed as they rocked back and forth now.  Junhoe gave a sad smile as the song played on and he just began singing to Bobby now.

" _You should be happy if you are like this.  Day by day it fades away."_


	4. 四

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bills are killing Junhoe's ass, but he has a very enlightening dinner with his friends that shed some light on how he can make some good money.

Junhoe didn't feel like anything changed. He was back to the same old Junhoe.

Except for the fact, bills were on his ass. He still cursed his brother for being as kind as to get him and his friend's an apartment just walking distance of the campus. For some reason, the apartment building was closer than the dorms, but they were expensive.

He didn't want to ask his friend's for help because they already paid their due dividends, but Junhoe was struggling with this rent. Proven as to why he was suddenly at the flower shop, day and night. Junhoe was just go, go, go now and everyone took notice.

Junhoe stared down at the daisy chain he made. They were a best seller, just like his crowns.

It was his only a bit of peace between his episodes of sadness and attacks to working until his poor, soft hands were cut all up. Junhoe was so sick of flowers by the time the end of his shift came. Sick of papers, of bills, and not-so-happy emotions.

Junhoe took a moment to poke the Water Lilies around in their indoor pond. Sighing, he was glad no one really came today. He was almost free and he could go home, make some cup ramen and just—

"You know, you're open for ten more minutes." Junhoe cringed inwardly heading Donghyuk's voice as the bell rung, turning around he saw everyone (including their new friends) filing in.

"Well, I say we close now," Junhoe grumbled and then pouted. "Did you guys come to make my life harder?"

"No. We just came to pick you up, so we can go eat at this ramen restaurant." Bobby smiled going over to Junhoe. Climbing over the counter, he brushed Junhoe off before looking him over.

"To rub your stupid relationships in my face?" Junhoe groaned, Jinhwan and Yunhyeong started dating not even the next day after mini golf.

_Junhoe and Donghyuk sat on the couch. Donghyuk was sandwiched between the couch cushions and a soft and possibly sad Junhoe. He didn't know really and he didn't want to ruin the comfortable atmosphere by asking. Junhoe wasn't one, to be honest about his feelings in such a way, he would hide it and deny anything thrown his way._

_So, Donghyuk just accepted only being able to cuddle his friend through whatever he was going through mentally. Their eyes lazily watched 'Love Stage!' on their TV, possibly Junhoe's favorite anime, Jinhwan came walking out looking extra nice._

_Turning their heads they looked to the man wearing a white button-down tucked into black slacks. His blonde hair styled so freely. Jinhwan held a cute black cardigan and a pink shawl._

_"Which one?" He asked them softly. Junhoe sat up rather alarmed by what he was seeing and Donghyuk sat up as well._

_"Where are you going looking like that?" Junhoe asked in an accusatory tone. Jinhwan smiled gently as he looked to his cover-ups._

_"I have a date." He whispered._

_"Ohhh." Donghyuk cooed at him, "Who's the lucky guy?"_

_"You know him well. We went to mini golf with him just yesterday. Now, which top?" Jinhwan insisted holding them up._

_"Jung Chanwoo?" Junhoe asked with wide eyes._

_"Aha, that's a child. I don't date children, Junhoe." Jinhwan rolled his eyes gently, his face painted with disgust._

_"Well, Kim Jiwon is Junhoe—"_

_"Say that again and you'll never kiss Hanbin again." Junhoe quickly threatened to make Donghyuk both amused and terrified._

_"Song Yunhyeong. It has to be... you two clicked so well." Donghyuk stated with a soft smile._

_"Bingo, now which top guys?" Jinhwan asked and the two looked at each with a judging eye, but they were too slow because there was a knock on the door._

_"Go with the pink one." Junhoe quickly said and Jinhwan nodded, throwing the shawl over his shoulders; he took up a small designer book bag and opened the door where Song Yunhyeong stood looking amazing though it didn't compare to his eyes sparkled at Jinhwan._

_"You look so beautiful." He whispered and Jinhwan grinned taking his hand._

_"Don't wait up!" Jinhwan called behind him, shutting the door._

"No one's here to rub anything in anyone's face," Yunhyeong commented.  Jinhwan gave Junhoe a pleading gaze with a pout.

"Don't do that thing where you shut everyone out," Jinhwan muttered. "Come to dinner with us."

Junhoe gave a look to Chanwoo who was glaring over at the couple, his envision gaze was just so hard to miss, but the couples were oblivious.  Junhoe sighed and nodded his head.

"For Chanwoo because me and him are great friends," Junhoe stated and the youngest gave him an awkward smile. 

"What about me?" Bobby asked as he picked Junhoe up and slid him over the counter, following right behind.

"First of all, never pick me up again.  Second, you're okay or whatever." Junhoe remarked as he did his final checks of the fridges and plants. 

"Rude." Bobby chuckled.  Junhoe just rolled his eyes taking out his keys as he turned the lights off and followed his friends out, locking the shop up thoroughly.

"Well, let's go to this ramen restaurant," Junhoe muttered and walked with them.

After some time, they finally came upon the giant building with big windows and a bright, lively exterior.  From the looks, the place was buzzing with people and food.

As they walked in, Junhoe's stomach growled loudly as the aroma hit his nostrils.  Quietly he moaned to himself.

"I'll buy you anything you want." Bobby leaned into Junhoe's ear making the boy glared at him.

"I can pay for myself." Junhoe hissed with an angry look. 

"I was just being nice, but okay." Bobby nodded and turned his head, but Junhoe didn't keep his anger long because his stomach sunk.  He needed all the money he could get to pay for rent. 

"Jiwon..." Junhoe's voice was soft now and this caused the elder male to look at him again. "I'm sorry... I just... it would be nice and give me a load off if the offer still stands."

"Of course it does, your my pretty princess. I'd do anything for someone so pretty." Bobby chuckled as he rubbed an obnoxious hand in Junhoe's hair and he turned his head away.

"Stop calling me pretty."

"But, I'm calling you what you are."

"Bobby, Junhoe come on," Yunhyeong called back to the distracted two.  Quickly they split and followed their friends to the table. 

Junhoe would ask Bobby every now and then if what he wanted to order was okay.  Looking over Chanwoo's shoulder to see the younger pick something tasty and deciding he'd want the same. 

"I don't care how much you want.  I'll buy it." Bobby commented. "I just want you to eat and be happy."

Junhoe never had someone say something like that to him.  He felt his cheeks dust in a rosy color as he bashfully nodded in acknowledgment. 

Thankfully the waiter saved him from more embarrassment.  Coming early to get their orders of drinks and meals down.  Junhoe felt slightly guilty as he ordered, but Bobby just kept encouraging him with soft 'go on's and 'continue, it's okay's.  Junhoe felt so powerful and he had only ordered dinner.

Though it was nothing compared to what anyone else ordered.  They had ordered many, many different meal combinations and side dishes for the table and for themselves.  So, Junhoe didn't have anything to feel ashamed of.

Finally, the waiter left after taking orders and their conversations started back up.

"So, you were saying Wendy got into camming?" Hanbin looked at Bobby with wide eyes and Bobby snorted.

"This isn't the place to bring that up." Bobby chuckled.

"No one can hear." Hanbin patted the cloth wall handing between them and the table next to them.  They couldn't even hear that table, so his point was correct.

"Who got into camming?" Chanwoo asked looking over at Bobby.

"Don't look at me like that! I have all the money I need and don't need to do that.  Though, there's nothing wrong if you need to." Bobby quickly stated. "Though, Wendy from my Calc."

"Have you seen her show?" Donghyuk now asked intrigued.

"Oh god no." Bobby laughed and Junhoe frowned up.

"Why don't you see her show?" Junhoe asked softly.

"I'm not attracted to Wendy in the first place. I don't need to see.... all of her like that when I have no attraction to that." Bobby summed up and Junhoe turned to him even angrier.

"Just because you don't like her, doesn't mean you shouldn't give her show a chance." Junhoe defended without having a single clue what camming is.

"Junhoe, Junhoe... do you  _know_ what camming is?" Bobby asked and Junhoe faltered. He put his fist up to his mouth immediately and squinted at Bobby.

"Of course, I do. Who do you think I am?" Junhoe shot back.

"Then what is it?" Bobby challenged and Junhoe blushed now being caught in his lie, but he wouldn't admit that.

"It's when... there's a camera involved because well camming— camera— you see? And you... do something that shows off your talent in f—"

"Eeh!" Bobby yelled and Junhoe pouted looking at him. Bobby grabbed his chin chuckled as he rubbing his bottom lip. "Put that pretty lip back in there, Bobby's gonna teach you what camming is."

"I actually hate you." Junhoe groaned.

"You're the one who tried to act like he knew what camming is." Hanbin chuckled.

"So what is it?" Junhoe asked softly.

"There are cam girls and there are cam boys, who have a webcam that they use to live broadcast them." Bobby started. "You with me?"

"I am." Junhoe nodded.

"And they show their faces, some don't show their faces. Some dress up in baby clothes, some crossdress— whatever kink their viewers have and whatever kink they want to focus on in that live stream." Bobby continued and Junhoe's mouth fell open.

"So, it's like porn?" Junhoe asked softly.

"Yeah because most likely then not they're going to get really intimate with themselves and with the audience that's paying them. As they call it 'dropping coins' to see them do things and to have them change positions." Bobby went on to explain.

"Oh... So Wendy's... oh." Junhoe muttered. "Back in my day, you'd just go around the corner and do the deed."

"Okay first off, you're not old. Second, this is a lot safer because you won't be getting some random dick and you call the shots." Donghyuk hummed.

"Oh," Junhoe whispered. "How much do cam people get?"

"Depends. I just know they love little cross-dressers." Bobby hummed.

"You mean  _you_ love the cross-dressing." Hanbin corrected and Junhoe laughed softly at Bobby who shrugged.

"And you like thighs, everyone had their thing," Bobby commented. "Though, there's like hundreds of thousands that could be made if you get the right audience."

"Oh." Junhoe was now interested.

"Our food's coming, stop with the nasty talk and let's eat," Jinhwan commanded and they all agreed.

—

Junhoe came home alone, full and satisfied. He didn't mind Donghyuk and Jinhwan choosing to stay out with their boyfriends. He really didn't because he had a plan to help him become comfortable.

And he was curious too. It's been a while since Junhoe's done anything to himself since high school, always too scared and always denying how he wanted to be touched.

He climbed up on his bed and opened the computer. Going into private browsing, he searched up 'cam shows' and found a website that he clicked on. Immediately it showed the many cam star names and a green light to signal they were hosting a show.

Junhoe bit his lip and picked the top one  **'RedTightsWhiteknights'.** Junhoe sighed as saw there needed to be a deposit to get into the current show, so since he was curious he put his information in and paid the $3 dollar fee to see what he expected.

_Red tights around pretty tanned legs, but they back was facing the camera and they were craned over the bed. A hand was holding them open as another held a red dildo._

_"You want to fuck me?" The evident boy asked in a soft tone. "I want to hear coins if you want to fuck me... Oh god... I'm so ready..."_

Junhoe blinked as he watched. Though he didn't drop any more coins and watched as the person fucked themselves relentlessly. And as he was about to come, he stopped and said to go to the next show for the real fun.

Junhoe sighed as he went to more shows, some needing a deposit or not. And he finally decided that he wanted to do this.

So, there he sat at the glowing screen and looked to see what he wanted to do.

**'PrettyKooPrincess', specializes in cross-dressing, toys and whatever your heart desires. Shower him in all that he deserves.**

**First show in 15 minutes.**

Junhoe would admit that his description would need work, but that would have to wait.  He knew where his pink dress was, it was the only feminine article he had.  He couldn't bear to throw it away since his first boyfriend got it for him. 

Though when he put it on, it was small and very short.  Showing his milky thighs and if he bent down, he would be exposed from behind.

"It's perfect," Junhoe whispered and then fished for his box of toys.  He looked at the scrawl on it, ' ** _Koo Junhoe's do not touch_** '.

He went to wash off the few toys he wanted and placed them besides the laptop.  Slowly, he sat down on a chair before the laptop as he checked his webcam.  Only his chest down would be shown and that's what he wanted. 

No one would find out about this.  No one would ever find out about this.  And if so, he's not hurting anyone.  Money's just tight.  Junhoe decided this was only used when money was running thin.

Junhoe looked at the waiting queue seeing it fill fast.  Money was already coming in for people to see his show. 

A sweet smile came across his lips.

 _'We're going to be okay.'_ He thought as he clicked started the live show. 


	5. 五

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe sees Bobby in a different light after having gone through a stressful, rather traumatizing morning that triggers his past.

 

It felt good to be financially stable, even more so than usual. Junhoe's never known what it's felt like not to count penny to penny. He's always been scavenging the many ways to spend the least amount of money for the most outcome.

Like when he was young, about 14, he would scrounge around the trash bins and find old coupon books and deals. Saving as many of the same as he could, he'd doctor them to fix any holes that might be picked up and  _tada_ free family packs of ramen. Of course, sometimes the coupons didn't work and so, he's run out of the store and steal the ramen directly that way.

Though, these cam shows were giving Junhoe new heights. They absolutely adored him and in a way, it made his heart feel warm because he hadn't been adored in such a way before. Daesung and Seunghyun hyung may adore him, but they, more so, dote on him. They were different than these strangers who were just aroused by the sight of Junhoe's very hips and legs. His guardians viewed him as that poor 16-year-old who was bright-eyed and  _in love_. The one that would wear the dresses, the blouses, and the makeup.

That wasn't him anymore, at least not publicly. Though, it was 'PrettyKooPrincess' because they weren't real.  He was an alter ego, a character, somebody that Junhoe doesn't know, but who he can act as.  Even if deep inside that had never changed and maybe he did know who that princess was because once upon a time he'd throw a fit over not being referred to as one.

Junhoe had more self-respect than that.

Enough respect to understand what he was doing was getting him money and that he needed to expand upon it. Hence why he was at the mall standing in a name brand store, browsing what's available.  It was the middle of the day on a Wednesday, a little earlier than lunchtime. There was no way anyone could catch him here.  At least, that was the hallow promise he kept repeating to himself to calm his insecure mind.  Though, Junhoe just couldn't deny the feeling of  _joy_ when his fingers went over the rather colorful and frilly outfits, (which totally was from being excited about all the money he'd get when the viewers saw him,  _no other reason_ ).

It also was quite bittersweet because this was igniting an old and dissatisfied past of what Junhoe used to do.  That was before he left high school.  Before when he was naive and childish, worst of all in love. 

_"Dresses make you so much more beautiful than you actually are.  I mean look at you."_

_"I like dresses because they make me feel good not because I'm not already beautiful."_

_"Obviously, you haven't looked in the mirror."_

Junhoe's fingers padded at the lively colored items of clothing in the big name brand mostly targeted at females.  He used to shop here all the time.  Shopping was once his favorite activity, even if they were as poor as dirt Seunghyun would take it upon himself to take Junhoe out for something he wanted, just one article of clothing every 2 weeks at the minimum.  It warmed Junhoe's heart to remember, but those were old days.  He was an adult now and as an adult  _male,_ he couldn't partake in dressing like a little girl (except when it involves money,  _a lot of money_ ).

"They requested something schoolgirl like..." Junhoe's voice trailed quietly as he talked to himself.  "Short skirt with plaid patterning should work."  His hand found a skirt, which he regarded with a slow look.  He wouldn't dare ask for a dressing room because what boyfriend would be using a dressing room to try on his  _girlfriend's_ skirt?  None, that's the answer.  So, Junhoe just mentally added his growth in hips and thighs from his last time of trying on dresses and skirts, let alone female pants.  Sighing, he took two pairs of each now.  Though he didn't stop there but went to find blouses, which were easier to size on himself. 

_"Aren't I pretty?"  Junhoe twirled around in a yellow blouse with a ruffled turtle neck and a black miniskirt to match that flared out during his spin.  He looked up at his boyfriend who regarded him warily._

_"You look like a slut." He snapped and Junhoe faltered with big eyes._

_"You bought this for me!"  Junhoe snapped back and all his boyfriend did was scoff._

_"For_ **_myself,_ ** _not for you to go out in.  Take that shit off."  He grumbled, reaching towards Junhoe who pulled away._

_"I refuse!  I like it—"_

_"I SAID TAKE IT OFF!" With that, all could be heard was a rip and soft sobbing._

"Boys don't wear these things," Junhoe sighed looking over a yellow no-shoulder sundress.  His eyes were sad looking at it, but he bit his lip feeling a warm sensation of excitement as he put it with the rest of his purchases.  "If I wear this, I'm a slut.  I guess he was right.  He was always right."

Soon enough, Junhoe had checked everything out into two pretty pink bags.  This did remind him that he should venture to the underwear store just across the way.  Of course, this was more of an embarrassing place for him because of how the female workers side eyed him.  

"What can I do for you, sir?"  A girl with light brown hair came over with a smile.  Junhoe looked down to her nametag that read ' **Lisa** '. 

"Um... I would like to purchase some panties and a bra or two."  Junhoe said timidly and then choked out a, "for my girlfriend, of course!" 

"Right, for your  _girlfriend_.  Just tell me what size panties, bras and what she'd like."  Lisa looked to Junhoe who quickly looked down at his waist.

"Last I checked I was—I mean  _she was_ a 7, but she's kind of grown, so she's a 9. And... uh... she's a—" Junhoe bit his lip to remember the device he had bought. He was embarrassed to admit he bought fake breast when he was in high school (even worse to admit he kept them). "A 34 DD, please."

"So, What kind of styles would y—she like?" Lisa cleared her throat as they went to the bras and panties. Junhoe looked around rubbing his face, there were many more styles and types than when he last bought these things.

"Lacey is sexy right? Let's go with that." Junhoe nervously laughed and Lisa nodded. Junhoe awkwardly fumbled around with Lisa trying to keep the intentioned of the unmentionables as secret as possible.

"Is that all?" Lisa looked to the items that sat on the counter. The women around still giving Junhoe strange looks.

"Yes, yes. Please hurry... I just want to leave." Junhoe felt rather shameful and nervous now. They were looking at him with such disgust.

"How disgraceful." One of the customers scoffed from behind Junhoe as he paid for the items. "Keep your strange hobbies to yourself."

"It's not for me." Junhoe quickly snapped to the lady as he blinked away his emotions.

"Ma'am, please refrain from attacking my customer. Here you are, sir." Lisa handed the pretty bowed bag to Junhoe who shoved it into his other bag with a shaky hand. He felt like he might fall over and die at any moment. Junhoe was terrified (may it be by some rude women, it still hurt him).

"Thank you, Lisa." Junhoe bowed and turned to walk away only for Lisa to grab his arm and lean up to him.

"I hope they fit you... I'm mean our girlfriend well and that they make you—her— happy." Lisa whispered and they made eye contact. Junhoe's face turned a blush pink as he felt shocked by being found out and embarrassed, yet giddy and happy she was supportive of him, a total stranger. Junhoe nodded and quickly left out. He was basically running now, trying to put as much distance between him and this shameful act behind him. And he was crying, for some fucking reason he was crying.

_"Why the fuck are you crying?"_

_"Because you don't love me like you say you do!"_

_"Oh grow up. Stop being a little girl."_

_"You adored me for being your little girl once and I used to think that was a compliment."_

"This isn't me!" Junhoe yelled out right as he ran into someone. He felt strong hands grab his waist as they fell over, Junhoe's face buried into the neck of the poor person he just bulldozed over. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please don't hate me, I'm sorry. I can change, I can be better. Ple—"

"Junhoe?" All Junhoe wanted to do was die even more hearing whose voice it was. Bobby's hands moved from his waist, one to the small of Junhoe's back and the other behind his head. "Hey, hey. It's okay. Calm down, calm down. Hyung is here."

"I'm sorry! I won't do it anymore! Please don't leave me." Junhoe's bags were long forgotten as he grabbed onto Bobby who was far too familiar to his ex-boyfriend. Though also so different.

"Shh, shhh." Bobby nuzzled his nose into Junhoe's cheek. The older boy was not one for caring about other's opinions or judgements— especially now as they laid on this mall floor with many people walking around them with such disgusted looks (some with concern). "Breathe. In and out, breathe for me, princess."

It was like that name calmed Junhoe instantly. His whole body went limp, his hands fisted in Bobby's shirt let him loose. His breathing evened as he slowly came back.

Junhoe wasn't back in high school. He wasn't back in his old boyfriend's hang out. Junhoe wasn't that  _little girl_ , he never will be. At least, not ever again. Junhoe was a capable adult who was making a reasonable living as a flower-shop worker (and a side gig as a camboy, but shhh). He was a Double major Creative Writing Major and International Studies with a minor in art. Junhoe is well on his way to being a Manga Translator, editor, and more. He still had his best friends and his new friends.

"Whoa!" Junhoe shot off of Bobby quickly, getting to his feet almost instantly he brushed himself off. Bobby chuckled as he stood up too. Junhoe didn't make eye contact as he felt the red blush creep up his neck and towards his ears.

"Glad I ran into you." Bobby mused as he grabbed the bags that were discarded. The older male's eyebrows rose as he looked at the bags and then at Junhoe who snatched them.

"Don't fucking look, you creep." Junhoe snapped and Bobby put his hands up in mock surrender.

"Way to talk to someone who talked you down from a panic attack," Bobby whispered and Junhoe flushed again. Sniffling, Junhoe sighed looking at him.

"You're right— I'm sorry. I just— I'm on  _edge_." Junhoe muttered and Bobby nodded in understanding.

"From what's in those bags?" Bobby questioned and Junhoe gave him a hard look but softened as he just made an affirming nod.

"Why am I doing this?" Junhoe whispered to himself now and Bobby rocked on his feet with a bit lip.  He reached out to Junhoe who backed away.

"Hey— let me take you to lunch. My treat." Bobby suggested and Junhoe suddenly felt affronted, throwing his nose up at him.

"I can pay for myself, I'm not as broke as you think." Junhoe spat and Bobby chuckled.

"You're a capable princess, I know that.  We all know that.  Though a princess should be treated." Bobby hummed as he closed the space between them.

"Shut up calling me princess.  And get on with it." Junhoe sighed defensively.  Bobby reached for his bags only for Junhoe to snatch away, so the former just shrugged and began walking outside to a Chinese restaurant just outside of the mall. 

"Heard this place is really nice," Bobby mumbled to Junhoe who looked around with slightly enlarged eyes.  He avoided looking at Bobby who was giving him that goofy smile; Junhoe didn't want to feel that strange giddiness he felt when looking at Bobby at the moment, but here he was at this restaurant with him from a spontaneous accident.

"It's alright." Junhoe bit back and Bobby just shook his head at how cute he was.  Soon enough they were seated down and Junhoe carefully folded the bags, placing them under the table away from prying eyes.

"So, What were you getting?" Bobby asked without a smidge of secrecy.  Junhoe fumbled with his menu and shook his head.

"It's none of your business," Junhoe responded, which Bobby nodded as he made a sound of understanding.

"That's true, but I kind of know.  And you don't have a girlfriend—"

"I have an older sister." Junhoe cut in.

"Donghyuk said she's in China and she has literally nothing special coming up," Bobby smirked right back at Junhoe who paled.  He looked up at Bobby with shaky eyes as he bit his lip.

"Fine, it's for me.  I don't plan to wear them, okay?  Just to have." Junhoe halfway told the truth and Bobby tilted his head with curiosity.

"I'm all ears.  I don't come here to judge you or anyone.  So, you can talk to me." Bobby informed and then continued, "Why to have?"

"Well..." Junhoe wrung his hands together as his menu went down.  His friends and his brother (along with his significant other) were the only ones who knew his story and faintly why he stopped what he used to do.  No one else was ever privy to the information. "I used to cross-dress when I was younger."

"Really?" Bobby's eyes went wide with interest.  A twinkle in them as he let out a deep, giddy chuckle that made Junhoe's stomach flip. "I bet you were more beautiful than you usually are."

"Hyung, please." Junhoe covered his smile as he gathered himself again. "I... I did it because my brother never closed the door for me to try whatever I wanted.  It really happened in high school because I wasn't as afraid as I was as a kid.  I mean— I wore dresses and stuff, but only with my friends, Seunghyun, and Daesung.  Though I got into high school..."

_"Don't give a fuck about other people Junhoe." Daesung cupped Junhoe's face as the boy looked up at him with innocent eyes._

_"What?" Junhoe whispered._

_"You don't need other people's validation if you already have yours sweetheart."_

"I went in with such confidence that was instilled in me by my hyungs along with Donghyuk and Jinhwan.  It was what made me feel so pretty and so nice.  Everyone really liked it— or whoever liked it was around me... Now I think of it and maybe everyone wasn't a fan." Junhoe sighed a little and squinted.

"Well, forget others right?" Bobby chuckled. "So, you weren't always doom and gloom huh?"

"I'm not doom and gloom now, what are you saying?" Junhoe yelled in a playful manner making the two laugh.

"I take it back! I'm an idiot, how dare I!" Bobby dramatically called himself out making Junhoe laugh even harder.  The two finally calmed down as the waiter came over and took their orders. 

"Yeah... it was... something." Junhoe softly sighed.

"What changed all of that?" Bobby leaned forward. "If you're okay to talk to me about that."

"I'm not particularly okay about talking to anyone." Junhoe joked and Bobby snickered at him slightly.

"It's hard for you to seem vulnerable, yeah?" Bobby inquired and Junhoe nodded. "Was that also the same thing the same thing that basically stripped you of the joy of wearing female clothes and accessories?"

"I think that was always there because of how rough I had it growing up." Junhoe sighed. "Though it did get worse because of it."

"You don't have to tell me." Bobby leaned back and they sat there in comfortable silence.  Junhoe did want to tell him, but he was terrified to be so transparent for someone. 

"I..." Junhoe trailed as his phone buzzed, looking to it there was Donghyuk's name as the caller ID.  So, Junhoe, of course, picked it up.

"Hey there you omega." Donghyuk's cheerful voice entered Junhoe's ears making him feel so emotional and so happy.  He missed his friends right now too.

"Who you calling an omega, you omega?" Junhoe teased back, not even caring that Bobby was just across from him.  Though deep down he knew Bobby wouldn't even care if he planned to murder someone in front of him.

" _Please_ , if anything I'm a beta.  You don't think I can't see the sub written all over you?  You submissive bitch."  Donghyuk responded and Junhoe just shook with giggles. "If anything I'm a damn powerful switch who tops his man anytime he fucking wants because I just got it like that."

"You're such a mess." Junhoe cried out between laughter.

"You bet your sweet ass." Donghyuk continued and they took a second to calm down from their giddy high. "I was calling to see what was going on with you?"

"I just came from the mall.  I didn't get anything really, but I ran into Bobby—"

"Oh shit—"

"And we're at that new Chinese restaurant—"

" _OH MY FUCKING GOD YOU LUCKY SLUT."_

"I actually hate you." Junhoe snorted as he pressed his pointer finger and thumb into his nose bridge.

"Hey Donghyuk!" Bobby called out and Donghyuk could be heard clapping.

"Suck his dick! Suck his dick—"

" _We are not doing that._   We just wanted to grab lunch together." Junhoe cut Donghyuk's chanting off quickly.  Junhoe gave a sour smile to Bobby as he told him, "Donghyuk says hi."

"I'm sorry, I just think about how much of a power couple you two could be— of course, nowhere near as powerful as me and my Binnie Bear," Donghyuk informed with airy breath.

"I think Jinhwan and Yunhyeong have you guys beat."  Junhoe joked back feeling joy from how dejected Donghyuk sounded as he whined.

"Anyways... Bobby's a really nice guy.  A little unorthodox, kind of goofy, but really, really hot— you have a boyfriend Donghyuk— and he has a pure heart.  The guy always does things for the right reasons."  Donghyuk monologued and Junhoe looked across at Bobby who was playing some mobile game with pinched brows and determined smirk on his face.

"He is...isn't he?  He wouldn't let anything bad happen to me." Junhoe realized softly.

"Never.  The guy really likes you, ya know?  But your such a pain.  Always living in the past, but it's okay because I love you.  Though don't you think it's time to leave all of that behind?  Start a new future?" Donghyuk whispered.

"I..." Junhoe looked around desperately for an answer.

"Don't answer me." Donghyuk quickly spoke up. "Just think about that for me.  And second, you're not slick about all this new money.  I'm going to find out where you're selling that ass out to."

"I'm not selling my ass." Junhoe scoffed. "I'm nobody's bitch."

"You can be Bobby's— Okay! Okay! Don't hang up!" Donghyuk shouted as Junhoe was so close to ending the call.

"You have one life left," Junhoe informed and Donghyuk exhaled a relieved breath.

"I just called because I miss you too," Donghyuk admitted and Junhoe blushed looking at the table.

"I miss you too Dongii," Junhoe whispered feeling a glow inside himself.  "You and Jinhwan gonna be home tonight right?  We can watch Titanic and stuff our faces with chocolate ice cream and wear face masks— do all types of things we don't do anymore."

"Yeah... Yeah.  I'd love that." Donghyuk responded with a happy bubble in his voice. "Well, I'll let you get back to your  _date_ you sub."

"Bitch—"

"SUCK HIS DICK  _BYEEEE!_ "  Junhoe heard the call drop and looked to see Donghyuk had indeed got the last remark in. 

"I actually hate him." Junhoe laughed fondly as Bobby put his own phone down to give Junhoe his attention now.

"Yeah, your friend is actually crazy."  Bobby chuckled a little. "What he say?"

"Just to su— _see,_ he wanted to see how I was and what I was doing.  He missed me, the clingy bottom." Junhoe nervously giggled and Bobby brightened at the sound.

"Mm, yeah sounds like him." Bobby nodded and went to put his phone back up.

"Actually, um... I wanted to say..." Junhoe sighed and Bobby with a newfound interest gave his full attention.  He leaned up on the table with big eyes as he took it all in.

"What's up?" Bobby asked softly.

"I fell in love."  Junhoe murmured. 

"Huh?" Bobby muttered looking slightly confused.

"I had boyfriends, but they weren't like him... He was my first everything.  I fell in love."  Junhoe echoed himself again. 

"Falling in love changed all of that?" Bobby questioned and Junhoe nodded. "Tell me about it."

So, Junhoe did...

"His name was Kim Namjoon."  Junhoe sniffled. "And I was his angel.  God, he was so nice to me.  Buying me makeup, helping me with homework, helping me with bullies— he was there helping me with so much."

_"Kim Namjoon."  Was what the tall boy with the dark brown hair said as he looked down at a sheepish Junhoe.  It was the month before Junhoe's third year.  The warm summer was inviting and Junhoe wanted some color to his skin._

_"K-Koo Junhoe." Stuttered the younger boy as he gazed up at the one with a book in hand._

_"You're headed to the library?" Namjoon asked softly._

_"Yeah... I thought it would be a good way to tan, exercise and write some poetry."  Junhoe held up the notebook and pencil pouch he dropped when he walked into Namjoon's back._

_"Multitasker." Namjoon chuckled as he looked Junhoe over. "Cute.  Let me carry those for you.  Angels shouldn't have to do anything, but be magical."_

_Junhoe's heart fluttered and he felt like he could soar into the sky.  He would pay anything to get that feeling back._

"Wasn't the greatest after all huh?" Bobby asked with a sad smile and Junhoe felt emotional just thinking about it.

"It all changed.  He changed." Junhoe stated with an angry and upset tone. "He met this Min Yoongi— suddenly Namjoon found me weird for wearing dresses and skirt, but only in public.  He was the only one who could see me in those clothes— not to even talk about the unmentionables."

"Don't get too worked up." Bobby found Junhoe's hand and rubbed the back of it to calm him down. "It's in the past."

"But it feels like yesterday."  Junhoe choked out.  "He took my happiness away.  I was so stupid for investing myself into some stupid guy— turns out I don't even like that.  And I mean, guess he was right because boys don't wear dresses.  I'm not a little girl."

"You shouldn't lie to yourself Junhoe," Bobby whispered and Junhoe wanted to lash out at him, but he took one look at Bobby's face of sincerity and calmed down. "That guy brainwashed you, he hurt you at your most sensitive areas.  He's made you question yourself."

"You don't know anything." Junhoe huffed and Bobby sighed.

"Maybe not, but I see you.  From the times I've gone out with you, I know under all that black and white there's someone who loves the colors of the rainbow.  And that person who holds himself back from fun is the life of the party.  And you liking girls?  Let's be real here."  Bobby read Junhoe's number and Junhoe couldn't argue with it.

"I'm a different person," Junhoe muttered.

"We're all a different person.  Everyone is not the same as they were when they were younger.  I'm not the same as I was 2 years ago, heck I'm not even the same as I was this morning and guess what? That's okay!  It's bad when you deprive yourself of the things you, from who you are."  Bobby continued his speech as he squeezed Junhoe's hand.  "Listen to me... you don't have to take my advice or anything, but there's someplace deep inside you that still is that boy from high school and that's okay.  It's okay to let yourself do what you love."

"I'm scared," Junhoe whispered.

"That's normal." Bobby smiled. "It's scary because you don't know if the world is going to accept you or reject you— well news flash, the world will never ever be you."

—

"Thank you again, Bobby." Junhoe beamed to the older boy as he unlocked his door.  Bobby stood by with his hands shoved in his pockets.  The bags hung at the older's boy's wrists awaiting Junhoe to take them.

"No problem.  You know me, ain't got nothing to do with my life— even if I did, you're too damn pretty to leave hanging." Bobby snickered at how Junhoe cringed at him.  Junhoe took his bags from Bobby as he back into the doorway now.

"You better hold your breath if I ever go out with you again." Junhoe scoffed and Bobby perked up.

"I have a second chance to take you out?  Like on a date?"  Bobby suggested and Junhoe rolled his eyes as he pushed Bobby in the chest a little.

"You'll never take me on a date, Kim Jiwon.  I have better use of my time."  Junhoe remarked and Bobby chuckled.

"It's a possibility in some universe." Bobby continued and Junhoe sighed.

"This is why you're single," Junhoe commented and Bobby gave a fake pout.

"That hurts!  I'm optimistic, I'm an opportunist.  If I saw an opening, I go for it.  Like you because princesses are pursued." Bobby cheesed at Junhoe who groaned at him.

"Yeah by knights in shining armor.  Not losers in Jordan's."  Junhoe scoffed at him once again and Bobby chuckled.

"Mark my words, I'll get your hand one day."  Bobby grinned even wider as Junhoe giggled at him. "I'll prove I'm your knight in shining armor, your Prince Charming."

"I think Prince Charming is a little overrated." Junhoe leaned in and pressed his lips to Bobby's cheek. "Don't you think?"

"Wh-Who- What was that?" Bobby looked at Junhoe with wide eyes as he was the one with red spreading on his face now, but Junhoe did have a pink blush coming.

"Goodnight Bobby.  Go bother Hanbin.  Thanks for the talk." Junhoe called as he began to shut the door.

"You can't just leave it like that—" Junhoe laughed as he shut and locked the door on Bobby.  Junhoe turned around against the door heaving a dreamy sigh only for it to be cut short by unwanted chaos.

"You fucking omega!" Donghyuk shrieked and Junhoe covered his face in shame.

"You just kissed his cheek!  And then did that thing they do in movies when you're in love— OH MY GOD YOU'RE IN LOVE!" Jinhwan gasped only making Donghyuk squeal like a school girl.

"Guys, I just was... whispering in his ear. Told him something really important." Junhoe muttered as he tried to act nonchalantly slowly waltzing towards his room.

"Junhoe— You kissed his cheek.  We saw that." Jinhwan corrected.

"You basically just sucked his dick!" Donghyuk shouted. "You slut!"

"Oh my god, I did not— What the fuck is wrong with you?" Junhoe whined. "We just went out for lunch and he walked me to my apartment, maybe I kissed his cheek— so what?"  Junhoe puffed his cheeks out and the two friends started to squeal at his confession.

"Bobby and Junhoe sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S—"

"Okay, you two are children." Junhoe walked out to his room, drowning their noise out as he put his clothes deep in his closet away from public view.  Even if he was reluctant, he couldn't be happier to see his friends.  So, he changed into some sweatpants and a plain white t-shirt with a pink cardigan (just to see how he felt) and ventured back up front where his friends quieted down.  They gave him happy smiles as they looked to the pink cover-up, but didn't mention it as he came down between them.

"This is nice, yeah?" Jinhwan opened up a box of pizza, which each three grabbed a slice and 'clinked' them together like wine glasses.

"Just us three— a switch and two subs," Donghyuk stated making Junhoe and Jinhwan choke on their pizza.

"DONGHYUK!" They yelled out as he laughed mischievously.

"If anything I'm a switch too!" Jinhwan began to argue.

"Oh, so you and Yunhyeong getting down like  _that? Excuse me!_ " Donghyuk exclaimed as Jinhwan sputtered at him.  Junhoe just laughed softly as he scrolled through the movies and their little quarrel fading into the back. 

"I missed being this way with you guys," Junhoe whispered softly.

"We did too." Jinhwan smiled over at him.

"We missed you," Donghyuk remarked and Junhoe laughed out loud as they both kissed his cheeks.

"C'mon guys!"

"That's how you were all up on Bobby!"

"Let me live!"

"Never!"


	6. 六

Junhoe couldn't stop thinking about him. It was like a plague that infested his mind. Most of the time, he wished he was with him. It was so fun being around  _him_. It was reigniting his old feelings he once had for a certain boy from before his time in college.

Junhoe wanted to hate it, but as much as he hated it, he loved it. Every moment.

It was when he was checking all of his analytics on his profile to make sure all things were set when his phone dinged. Junhoe tried to bite back his smile hearing the personalized ringer Bobby had made for himself.

 _"Beautiful! Pretty Princess! Hi~ You're so beautiful!"_ Bobby's voice called out rung. Junhoe rolled his eyes remembering how Bobby said 'You'll love it! You're going to smile every time you hear it!' He hated the fact it was true, nevertheless, Junhoe was a little lonely and starting to get in his own head. So, he answered.

"PRINCESS~ I'm lonely!" Bobby yelled out, "What are you doing?"

"Trying to keep my hearing, asshole," Junhoe whined softly.

"Hehe—Sorry, I just got up early and I've been filled with all this  _energy_ ," Bobby informed and Junhoe could picture him pacing now. Actually, he could hear Bobby's pacing this very moment.

"Good for you, I'm not filled with energy," Junhoe groaned.

"I dyed my hair! It's brown now!" Bobby exclaimed and Junhoe gasped as he laughed softly hearing Bobby's sniggers of joy.

"Why would you do that? Purple suited you," Junhoe, once again, whined.

"I don't know. Purple was cool, but time to  _grow—_ or whatever bullshit I was thinking when I did it," Bobby huffed and Junhoe made a sound of acknowledgment. And the line was quiet for a moment making Junhoe roll his eyes.

"Don't call me and get silent!" Junhoe cried out exasperatedly making Bobby laugh that oh-so-annoying sound that made Junhoe's stomach flip.

"You whine a lot. I'm going to call you Jjingjjing-i," Bobby chuckled softly, "Beautiful, Pretty, Princess, And now Jjingjjing."

"Hyung— _no_ ," Junhoe could feel his face flushing pink. The embarrassment was going to eat him alive.

"Nah, you dug this grave now lie in it," Bobby teased making Junhoe groan loudly.

"I'm not some  _girl_ , god," Junhoe grumbled and Bobby just chuckled at his comment.

"I thought we were over those gender norms. I mean, you wear dresses and other girly things, so... And I've been calling you princess for how long? I think th—"

"Okay, okay—gosh—I get it, shut up. What do you even want?" Junhoe scoffed and Bobby hummed in thought. Of course, Bobby was spontaneous, why would he have a plan?

"Want to meet me at the park? Find me at the basketball court," Bobby spoke up and Junhoe scoffed.

"What time?" Junhoe asked softly, not refuting this hang out.

"In at least half," Bobby chuckled, "But you're so pretty, you'll want to pamper yourself and get ready for me, huh?"

"Oh, my— _Bye!_ " Junhoe gasped hanging up on him. As offended as he wanted to feel, all he could do was giggle. Glancing down he saw a message pop up,

 ** babo bunny **  
**I want to cya cuz I'm lonely.**  
**at least to hear your voice to see your smile.**  
**tht ok?**

 ** Juneyaaaaaa **  
**that's okay.**

—

Junhoe wore his crop-top pastel tie-dyed hoodie and high-waisted denim jeans along with white high-top converses to go with the fit. Maybe, just maybe, he put pink lip tint on and a soft blush as well, but that was it (again, that was a lie he may or may not have done a whole natural look with a pink hue).

He rummaged around his tiny backpack that Jinhwan got him (it was  _not_ a backpack purse and he would not admit that). Quickly, he took out his phone to make sure he didn't look, so open and noticeable. Though no one from university, that he would know, would be here and recognize him. Possibly why he dressed up a little.

Junhoe looked to the map and found where the basketball court was, shooting Bobby a message as he walked the path. It was Banpo Hangang Park, a fairly nice place. Junhoe appreciated it because the Han River was in view and that was quite a sight.

Speaking of sight, there came the basketball court in and view. Along with it came Kim Jiwon playing with a group of other guys. His outfit was rather ridiculous for basketball; he wore a white and black shirt that hung low at the back, the sleeves were black, the shirt itself had little back designs as did the tail. He also wore jeans with rips and shoes that were some name-brand (possibly Jordan's? Junhoe was certain) pair that Junhoe probably wasn't too familiar on. Of course, he had jewelry to accompany his style too.

Junhoe found himself staring now, his eyes following him. Amazed by his wavy brown hair that made him look both adorable and slightly more mature. Nervously, Junhoe pushed his hand into his hair and bit his lip. Maybe he should have found some hair clips? Maybe a wig? Watching Bobby made him feel so self-conscious suddenly and Junhoe didn't know why. As Junhoe was about to have the guts to turn around and run, Bobby stopped at the edge of the court and looked at Junhoe wide-eyed raising his hand to him. Junhoe timidly waved back and slowly started making his way down.

"Would you stop staring?" Junhoe hissed smushing Bobby's forehead as the older boy openly gawked at him.

"What the fuck is on your face?" Bobby gasped grabbing the sides of his head making Junhoe whine and shake his head.

"Gee, thanks. That's exactly what I want to hear," Junhoe pulled himself away with an aggressive eye roll only for Bobby to grab his waist and pull him back.  Junhoe's could suddenly sense everything—when did Bobby get such pretty brown eyes?

"I didn't mean it like that.  I just didn't expect something so beautiful,  _god_.  You did that, just to meet me?" Bobby asked making Junhoe blush and turn his head away from him.  The older boy laughed as he pulled Junhoe into a proper hug.

"I just wanted to look nice, dummy," Junhoe huffed as he hugged Bobby back. 

"Indeed you do, I was going to—"

"Hey, Buddy! You almost done with your little friend?" One of the guys from group Bobby was just playing with yelled over at them.  Junhoe tensed as he didn't like the guy's tone, pulling away from Bobby he saw their hard looks and shrunk even more.

"I was coming back!" Bobby laughed trying to keep things friendly.

"Couldn't tell, you were too wrapped up in that tranny for us to tell!" The guy hollered and his friends laughed.

"You think your little bitch could take me up?" Another guy shouted making a bubble of laughter.  Junhoe felt his hands ball up as he looked down at the pavement.  This was also why he never cross-dressed anymore because of guys like  _this_.  Guys who would prey on him and degrade him.

"Bobby, it's okay. You can go finish, I'll go find a spot and— Bobby, are you okay?" Junhoe stopped peering at Bobby who had his fists balled up.  His arms were riddled with veins and his eyebrows were furrowed in pure anger.  Bobby's chest puffed up and down as he tried to calm, but he couldn't.

"What the fuck did you say?" Bobby spat out taking a step forward.  Junhoe quickly grabbed one of his arms getting behind him.

"Don't do that, it's okay," Junhoe cooed trying to calm him down.  He couldn't help Bobby getting hurt over him. "Don't fight for me. I'm not worth it."

"You heard her!  Or should I call her it?"  The guy yelled out.

"Do us a favor sweetheart and show us what's in those pants!  Maybe it's got a little friend!" One of the men yelled.

"Don't get so upset, Bobby!  Your hyungs are just having fun, don't get so upset over a fa—" The man choked up as Bobby had walked forward and backed him into a basketball hoop pole.  Pure anger was seen in Bobby's eyes as he held him up glared up at the man.

"You are not my hyung.  Don't get shit twisted. We played basketball for 15 minutes, that's it.  I ain't your dongsaeng because I'll whoop your ass.  So, let's not—let's not get chummy here.  You fucking apologize to my boyfriend, you hear me?  Or I'll smash you and your friends' faces in!" Bobby shouted as he threw the man into his friends. 

"You can't take us on ki—" Bobby walked forward and the group of harassers backed up.  Bobby was big and very intimidating, there was no bluff to his words.  And looking at the way his arms flexed and his teeth grit.  Just the way Bobby was ready to fight anyone for Junhoe caused the group to convey with a glance at one another. 

"You better go apologize before he beats our ass."

"Fucking go."

"Okay! Okay!" They stood up and the main one who started it came forward, Junhoe slinked over standing behind Bobby as he watched.

"We  _apologize,_  "He hissed and then the group bowed. "We'll be fucking leaving."

"That's what I thought," Bobby spat as they slinked off with their tails between their legs. 

"That was—"

"And you!" Bobby huffed grabbing Junhoe's face. "You are worth everything!  Every dime, penny, black eye, headache— I mean it,  _everything_."

Junhoe thought he could cry seeing how sincere Bobby looked.  He was so firm with his words and so sure of it.  Yet they were so affectionate and assuring.  Everything Junhoe needed to hear.

"B-But—"

"I'd do anything for you because I... Junhoe, you just don't understand how amazing and wonderful you are.  No matter how you dress, look, or sound.  You are mean everything. Especially to me." Bobby spoke in a hushed tone as his forehead came down to Junhoe's.  Junhoe was flushed now, his hands gripping Bobby's wrists.  His thumbs rubbed in circles on the back of Bobby's hands with a sigh.

"Bobby, stop please—"

"You're an angel, a princess— no, you're so fucking  _precious,_ " Bobby whispered in rush.  Junhoe felt so warm.

"You called me your boyfriend," Junhoe broke the tension as he looked at him with happy teasing eyes.  Bobby pulled away with a red face as he sputtered.

"I call you a lot of things!  I just wanted to make sure those punks got it!" Bobby laughed a little and Junhoe hummed a soft affirmation as he pulled Bobby back by the wrists.  They stood chest to chest and Bobby was now to his senses, nervous and awkward, but Junhoe wanted to hold on.  This was their moment.

"You're so cool, Hyung," Junhoe sighed as he put his arms around Bobby's neck. "Thank you for saying what you said... thanks for sticking up for me."

"Are you gonna kiss me or something?  Last time it was the cheek, what's it's gonna be this time?" Bobby asked in a teasing manner.  Junhoe rolled his eyes as he thought it over before he placed a soft kiss to the bridge of Bobby's nose. 

"Is that good?" Junhoe whispered.

"Perfect, like you!" Bobby exclaimed as he hugged Junhoe's midsection and lifted him, spinning them around.  The pair dissolved into laughter and giggles.  It was like a scene from a movie or like a music video.  Sweet and victories for them both.

After some time the pair wandered away from the courts and back into the path. Junhoe held onto Bobby's pink hoodie shamelessly hugging it close feeling quite docile. The elder held his hand on the small of Junhoe's back guiding him with an amused grin targeted at him.

"It's so pretty today," Junhoe whispered.

"You're so pretty," Bobby remarked making Junhoe roll his eyes.

"Stop doing that," Junhoe whined batting at Bobby's face making the boy do his incessant laughter.

"If I see the chance, I gotta take it," Bobby chuckled as he pressed his lips to Junhoe's temple causing a squeak to pass through Junhoe's lips. The younger boy pressed his face into Bobby's shoulder as they kept walking.

"Oh my  _god_ , you did not just do that," Junhoe whispered, only for Bobby to nod in victory.

"I sure did— Hey, look up Jjingjjing," Bobby patted Junhoe's side and the latter lifted his head to see a vibrant cotton candy stand.

"Ooh! Jagiya! We need to get some! Can we? Can we—" Junhoe stopped covering his mouth making them both stop. Bobby sniggered as he got down into his face.

"You just called me—"

"No—No I didn't—"

"I'm your jagiya!"

"No, you aren't!"

"We're basically married!"

"Bobby, no! We are not!"

"Prince Jiwon here to get his Princess Junnie some cotton candy because he's his jagiya!" Bobby exclaimed puffing his chest out. Junhoe reached up to contradict, but he stopped. What bad would come of this? Why did he want to fight something so pure? Is it because he hasn't felt this way in a long time—and that it ended in flames?

"What can I do for you?" The vendor asked and Bobby leaned over whispering to him making Junhoe raise a brow.

"What are you doing?" Junhoe inquired getting close to Bobby suddenly feeling out of the loop.

"You're gonna love it," Bobby muttered and they quieted down as they watched him work. "Close your eyes!"

"But— Okay, Fine!" Junhoe huffed as he closed his eyes.

"Cover them too!" Bobby continued making Junhoe groan and put his hands over them.

"Okay! This better be great!" Junhoe huffed. It stayed quiet for some time and then Bobby cleared his throat. Slowly, Junhoe opened his eyes to see Bobby standing there holding a big blue cotton candy heart. It made Junhoe's swell.

"Ta-da!" Bobby grinned wide and Junhoe giggled as he took his phone out.

"I need to get this!" Junhoe exclaimed as he took the picture, enjoying Bobby's many poses. "Omo~ You're so cute!"

"Here," Bobby lifted the sugary item to Junhoe and he leaned down to get a bite only for Bobby to pull it away eliciting a whine from him. Soon enough, Junhoe was chasing him just for Bobby to wrap an arm around his bare midsection as he finally bit into the heart.

"You're—" Junhoe chewed on the candy and swallowed "—so mean."

"You're so adorable, princess," Bobby sighed into his laughter as he took a big bite of cotton candy. Junhoe braved it as he leaned in taking it from his mouth, eating it as Bobby whined at him.

"Yah, see who's whining now!" Junhoe teased.

"Hush," Bobby muttered and Junhoe rolled his eyes as he took hold of the cotton candy stick and kept eating.  Bobby tightened his grip around Junhoe's midsection, gently he hoisted him up and held him bridal style as he continued their way. "Where you want to go?"

"I want a view of the river," Junhoe mumbled as he shoved some of the confection into Bobby's mouth. 

"Say no more," Bobby hummed as he went down towards a bench facing out towards the bridge and the river, showing the city line in the view as well.  Junhoe gave Bobby a gummy smile as he pointed towards under the bridge.

"I can see the other park from here!" Junhoe giggled.  The older boy beamed wide as he sat Junhoe down and then came down beside him, shockingly Junhoe squished himself back into Bobby's side.

"You're clingy," Bobby whispered.

"Don't mention it, if you mention it you'll ruin what we have going on," Junhoe hummed softly and Bobby nodded agreeing it was better to let it go unnoticed— or rather unspoken.

"Thanks for letting me give you some of my energy," Bobby said and Junhoe scrunched his face up as he laughed out loud.

"That sounds  _dirty!_ " Junhoe exclaimed moving from Bobby to look at him.

"Don't think of it dirty then!" Bobby cackled as he reached up petting Junhoe's cheek. "Don't think like that."

"You  _platonically_ gave me your energy, what is that thing Americans say?" Junhoe whispered softly and Bobby leaned forward as chewed a piece of cotton candy.

"No homo?" Bobby asked and Junhoe nodded quickly.

"No homo!" Junhoe yelled out making Bobby fall off the bench and guffaw at him.

"Omo~ You're so cute!" Bobby shouted as he tried to calm himself. He climbed back up and Junhoe offered the last of their sugary treat, but Bobby shook his head, "That's all yours, beautiful."

"Ahh~," Junhoe whined so quietly that it almost missed Bobby's ears, but he's become accustomed to hearing any and everything Junhoe let pass his pretty pink lips. Bobby laughed softly as he rubbed his hands on Junhoe's cheeks as they puffed up as they were full and brought his forehead to Junhoe's.

"You're like a chipmunk," Bobby teased making Junhoe roll his eyes as he swallowed what was left.

"I already have fat cheeks, don't say that," Junhoe cried softly causing Bobby to watch amused again, "You're going to make me fat, you know that? All you do is feed me."

"I want to make sure you're eating well. And you won't get fat, I promise. Even if— and I MEAN— even if you gained 1,000 pounds, I'd still think you were the prettiest angel there ever was," Bobby mumbled as his lips neared Junhoe's cheek and pressed a sloppy kiss making Junhoe let out a very (manly) squeal.

"You're such an asshole! You're going to make me fat!" Junhoe grumbled as he weakly hit on Bobby's chest, the older boy grabbed both his wrists in one hand and caught his gaze. Junhoe's heart slightly skipped a beat as he gave a nervous grin to Bobby who was looking at him with this goofy gleam.

"Hey, Junhoe... Tell me about yourself... more than I already know," Bobby whispered.

"So suddenly?" Junhoe muttered and Bobby nodded. Junhoe shuffled as he threw his leg over the bench, "I... I've been friends with Donghyuk and Jinhwan since middle school, I do believe. I'm pretty loud... I'm an orphan, but well— Seunghyun legally adopted me once he was of age. Um, I love to write and just do things with language— especially poetry. High school was probably the hardest time of my life... I don't know, what do you want to know?"

"You know why your parents didn't want you? Or— let me phrase that better, why did they—"

"No, no that's right. They didn't want me, suddenly I was too much. So, they were going to leave me out in the middle of nowhere, but Seunghyun didn't want that— he detested it.  Though, whatever.  I have the best parents ever now," Junhoe shrugged as he rolled his eyes.

"They seem supportive," Bobby muttered and Junhoe's eyes widened.

"Oh, so much so that it's almost a character flaw.  They love me to bits and have only ever wanted me to do what makes me happy.  I never grew up hearing 'he's such a lady's man' or 'you can't play with dolls' or even anything that remotely dealt with gender.  And they always scrapped up as much money as they could get for my hobbies, for example, I have been taking jiujitsu ever since high school, but even longer than that I was a ballerina," Junhoe grinned wide and Bobby melted at the thought of a younger Junhoe prancing around in a tutu.

"What else?" Bobby put his head on his fist as he just gazed at Junhoe with new intrigue.

"Ballroom!" Junhoe clapped excitedly, "I took art classes— turns out I can draw really well— I took a cooking class— turns out I can bake too!  One point I took robotics, but god it got boring and the other boys didn't like that I built better stuff than them."

"What  _can't_ you do?" Bobby asked amazed.

"Oh dear, a lot.  But, I just try and learn from it," Junhoe shrugged as he picked at the stick that was left from their confectionary treat. "Tell me about  _you,_ jagiya."

"I have an older brother, Jiun and he's married.  They have a baby, Raon.  They live in the states, where I lived for most of my middle and high school years—"

"You an exotic bitch, okay, I see you."

"You sound like Donghyuk, don't ever do that again," Bobby laughed only for Junhoe to kiss his cheek as he shook with laughter too. 

"Mm'okay, continue your story," Junhoe whispered.

"I came back here for uni because— well, I wanted to be  _home_.  And my dear friends were here and this is really when life starts, ya know?  My momma told me it was okay.  Her and my dad were happy that I was coming back to Korea, even told me to make sure I bring them back something," Bobby laughed and sighed, "I miss them though."

"They sound lovely," Junhoe whispered. 'Maybe I'll meet them someday.'

"They'd love you.  If anything, Raon would love you too." Bobby grinned and then ran a hand through Junhoe's hair, "How's the flower shop?"

"Booming, actually!" Junhoe nodded and Bobby tilted his head slightly as he thought it over.

"That's where your extra money coming from or is it from—"

"If you have me figured out..."

"Just be safe, yeah?" Bobby suggested and Junhoe nodded his head once again, "I like being this way with you."

"You're a sap now?" Junhoe teased only making Bobby grumbled and roll his eyes.

"I'm your sap," Bobby brought out the cheesy line that made them both cringe with delight.  The two quieted down as they sat in a warm silence that was filled with Junhoe drawing invisible hearts in Bobby's cheeks with his thumbs.

"Jiwon, I—"

 _"Hello, Bitches."_ CL's voice broke their gaze on each other causing Junhoe to quickly move away, what was he about to say?  Why was he so infatuated with this guy? 

"Hello?" Junhoe answered the called to hear Jinhwan giggling.

"Hey, where are you?  My boyfriends, our friend, and his boyfriend want to meet up with you!" Jinhwan exclaimed and Junhoe glanced over at Bobby who was texting.

"I'm with Bobby," Junhoe whispered into the phone causing loud exclaims of 'oohs' to ring out.

"That's great!  So, you guys can meet us at the ice cream parlor and batting cages," Jinhwan spoke up.

"But you hate batting cages," Junhoe muttered.

"Channie doesn't!  Isn't that right?" Jinhwan giggled as Chanwoo took the phone.

"Hey, So Bobby hyung knows where it's at.  Hanbin's texted him all the stuff, so c'mon!  It'll be our first outing as like a couple and stuff," Chanwoo explained yet Junhoe stopped now, feeling confused.

"Couple?" Junhoe whispered. "Wait—boy _friends_?  What's going on?"

"Oh—yeah, I started dating Yunhyeong and Jinhwan, it's no big deal," Chanwoo brushed it off only for Junhoe to scoff in surprise.

"You've been jealous of them for so long, what do you mean 'no big deal'? That's huge! Congrats guys!" Junhoe exclaimed.

"Thanks!" He heard the three call.

"Me and Bobby will meet you guys—"

"SUCK HIS DIC—"

"There's my cue to hang up," Junhoe huffed as he hung up.  Looking up there was Bobby offering his hand with a grin.

"They're gonna be so cute with their polygamy," Bobby cooed as Junhoe rolled his eyes taking his hand.

"We're the only single ones.  They're going to get on us to start dating," Junhoe sighed.

"Yeah, I do hate when Hanbin says I need to date some girl," Bobby muttered and Junhoe furrowed his brows, but then took a deep breath.  He thinks he meant other people, well that's fine because they would not be dating—  _ever_.

"We taking the bus?" Junhoe asked and Bobby nodded as he leads him again.

"I got you," Bobby hummed.  Sighing, Junhoe gives him another kiss to the cheek before he becomes to defiant and unwilling with their friends.  And once they reached the bus, Junhoe felt overwhelming exhaustion.  

"Mmm, yeah," Junhoe nodded as he watched Bobby leaning over him talking, but Junhoe couldn't hear it.

"Junhoe?" Bobby chuckled softly, but Junhoe's lined eyes fluttered as his lips pouted.  Slowly, his head fell onto his shoulder causing Bobby's eyes to widen as he looked around in disbelief.  Even more to it, the younger boy wrapped his arms around Bobby's and snuggled his head on his shoulder. 

"Jagiya~," Softly sighed Junhoe in his sleep causing Bobby's eyes to triple in size once again.  

"Just be cool, be cool," Bobby bit his lip as he relaxed.  Gently he reached up with his other hand and carded his hand through Junhoe's hair causing an even calm now.  "See, I got you."

— 

Junhoe wasn't one for baseball, to be truly honest.  It was okay to watch on television—much better than watching it up front and personal.  He would play with his toy bat and ball with Seunghyun when he was younger, but that was child's play.  Baseball was totally different.  And his friends actually loathed baseball, so for Jinhwan to want to come to batting cages meant he really did care for Chanwoo.  

Personally, the batting cages scared Junhoe because of how loud and aggressive they were.  Any wrong move and it could be over.  Also, baseball was one of those things Junhoe failed at horribly.  

"I'm more of a basketball kind of guy, football even.  Though, Chan says he's been into baseball for years," Bobby recollected as he held onto Junhoe's hands as the boy ducked behind him as he heard the loud 'fhoomp' of the machines.  

"That's so cool!  Wo, that's amazi—Ah!" Junhoe squeaked as he pressed his face into Bobby's shoulder making the older boy stop and look at Junhoe confused.

"You scared you'll get hit?  Or is it the sound?" Bobby asked softly and Junhoe waved his handed side to side with an uneasy look. "Well first, it can't hit you.  Even if you were at the netting, all you'll feel is a dull tap.  And second... I have these headphones, they could help."

Junhoe relaxed slightly as Bobby took out some foldable headphones and placed them on his ears causing the loud sounds to deafen.  Junhoe smiles softly as he nodded to the older boy.  The two continued until they got to their friends to see Jinhwan in the cage waiting for his throw. 

"It's the baddest bitch in town!" Donghyuk yelled as he ran to Junhoe and hugged him.  Junhoe laughed as he moved a cuff off his ear.  The sounds weren't too bad over here, but he'll keep them on in case.

"Hey!" Junhoe chirped as he held onto his friend that was shaking him about.  

"What were you two doing, huh?" Hanbin teased as his arm was thrown over Bobby.  

"We were at the park, just enjoying ourselves.  It was cool," Bobby summed up and Junhoe rolled his eyes at him.

"Is that all you have to say, it was cool?" Chanwoo scoffed making the group bubble with laughter. 

"Woo!  That was exhilarating!" Jinhwan yelled out as he came out of the cage.  Chanwoo chuckled as he took the helmet off of his to kiss the top of his head only for Jinhwan to flush pink.

"So cute," Yunhyeong sighed as he looked around, "Who wants to go next?"

"Junhoe!  You should go!" Donghyuk exclaimed and Junhoe's eyes widen to the size of saucers.

"I rather sit this one out, I'm really just here for the ice cream," Junhoe sputtered, but it was too late because a bright violet helmet was now strapped down onto his head.  "No! No, please—"

"It'll be fun!" Jinhwan smiled and then came close to Junhoe, "Do this for my new and improved relationship, yeah?"

"I would love to, but I—"  Junhoe stopped when he found himself in the cage.  This is not where he wanted to be, whatsoever.  Bobby could see the fear and anxiety rushing through Junhoe and he was trying to talk them out of it.

"Here, beginners batting," Chanwoo muttered as he pressed the button.

"I don't think— He doesn't want to be—"

'FHOOMP' went the machine and a ball came hurling out at Junhoe who yelled out dropping his bat and going down right with it.  Bobby sighed softly as he snatched Hanbin's helmet off and put his own on.  

"Pause the machine!" Bobby barked as he went into the cage.  Their friends did as he commanded and watched on curiously.  Bobby squatted down, picking Junhoe's face up.  "Hey, don't cry."

"I don't want to be in this stupid cage!  I don't want to be a bad friend either!  I hate baseball!" Junhoe rambled on as he sniffled.  Bobby felt pity and slight anger towards their friends but shook his head as he rubbed his tears away.

"Let me help you okay?  Hyung will be right here, holding you," Bobby whispered and Junhoe brightened at him with a blush to his cheeks.    

"Okay," Junhoe nodded as they rose up.  He picked up the bat and turned around, Bobby came and put his arms around him, putting his hands over his.

"This okay?" Bobby asked as Junhoe fixed himself to match.  The boy nodded with a soft 'yes' and Bobby nodded to their friends who started the machine up again.  Now, there was something much louder than the machine for Junhoe and that was his own heart. 

"Oh!" Junhoe gasped as they hit a ball. "We did it!"

"You did it! You did it! Now, keep doing that," Bobby encouraged as his hands went to Junhoe's waist. "Sway and swing! Yah!  There's my pro!"

Junhoe beamed much wider than he had the moment they walked onto the scene.  This was everything to him.

"Go Junhoe! Go Junhoe!" Donghyuk started the cheer and for one Junhoe's face hurt from smiling too much.

"I've never had that much fun at the batting cages," Junhoe exclaimed to Bobby as they sat in the ice cream parlor.  Bobby chuckled softly as he ate his chocolate ice cream and Junhoe had his strawberry and chocolate swirl. "And it's all thanks to you!"

"Glad I could be of service, but seriously it was your courage and your strength.  I just guided you to begin," Bobby shrugged. 

"You're so amazing, Bobby," Junhoe sighed as he went to squish himself close to Bobby.  The older boy's cheeks turned red as he wiped his face.  A goofy smile etched its way onto his lips as he smiled at Junhoe.

"We should do this again," Bobby hummed and Junhoe acted as if he was thinking it over, pushing a finger into his bottom lip. "Stop acting so cute!"

"Says you!" Junhoe chided back.

"So... was this a date?" Bobby tilted his head.

"I don't know, you never said," Junhoe responded making Bobby huff.

"A friend date, yeah?"  Bobby commented and, so Junhoe nodded in agreement.

"Thanks for calling me, if you didn't... I'd probably have just sat and been so lonely,"  Junhoe sighed.  "Sometimes, I won't admit when I need you, but... I needed you today."

"All I wanted was to see you and I got that, yeah?" Bobby grinned as he pulled Junhoe in by the waist.  "We need to stop acting all domestic before the hounds come over."

"Just one more thing, yeah?" Junhoe asked as he put his ice cream down and Bobby nodded.  Slowly, Junhoe cupped Bobby's face in his heads and smiled at him nervously. 

"What you gonna do?" Bobby whispered. 

"Shh," Junhoe hushed him as he came close.  Lightly he brought their lips together in an innocent peck.  Neither of them forced anything more but just held their lips in a meeting.  Junhoe could hear his heart in his ears and for a second feared he'd vomit it onto Bobby.  Finally, Junhoe pulled away and Bobby grinned so hard as he leaned forward showering Junhoe's face in kisses

What a perfect day.


	7. 七

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe goes back home and all his emotions hit him along with the fact he didn't tell anyone he'd be leaving.

__

_"C'mere," A distorted voice called to Junhoe. All he felt was plush and warmth surrounding him. Opening his eyes, light shined down upon him. "Princess~"_

_"Mm..." Junhoe lifted his head up, pulling the sheet to cover himself up as he tried to familiarize himself. Though everything was so far away, it was like a thin mist was shading Junhoe's eyes. Then he saw someone standing in the light, they were shirtless and quite fit._

_"I'm right here," The voice called and then hands reached out. Junhoe shook his head, feeling shy, but their laugh resonated in his ears. "I've seen you so much worse, come to me."_

_Dropping the sheet, Junhoe was suddenly dressed in underwear: panties, black ones. They were his favorite kind. Crawling forward, he wrapped his arms around the neck of the person who held the voice. Everything about them was so familiar._

_"Bobby?" Junhoe laughed softly as said man hugged him tight and pressed kissed on his shoulder. Junhoe pulled his head back to look at him and there he was, beautiful and radiant smiling at Junhoe. The light shining behind his head almost like a halo._

_"You want it to be me, don't you?" He chuckled and Junhoe frowned slightly._

_"Jiwon..." Junhoe started as he moved to kiss him. Bobby began to change right before him. Though scarily, he stayed the same. His hair was now sandy and his cheeks held dimples— the skin was about the same tanned and beautiful along with his build just being taller and a little less fit._

_"You miss me?" Namjoon snickered as his hand slid down Junhoe's back. Alert, Danger, Sirens— were all going off in Junhoe's head._

_"No— No, you can't be here," Junhoe choked as he fell back on the bed. Namjoon only came over him with a sick grin._

_"You've missed me, princess. I'll always come back for you," Namjoon hummed as he came down pressing kisses into Junhoe's collarbone. "Just submit to me, like you always have."_

_"No— I'm not your princess. I'm not— no," Junhoe suddenly felt too weak, his arms and legs locked up on him as the unwanted ones went for his unmentionables. Junhoe could feel tears in his eyes now._

_"You'll always be mine. He can't have you, you're damaged goods," Namjoon snickered into his ear and Junhoe felt a snap at his waist._

_"NO—"_

Junhoe didn't understand what that meant, but it shook him up enough to send him back home to Daegu.  Seunghyun let Junhoe in without question, if anything happy his little brother came home to see them.

"We missed you," Daesung cooed kissing Junhoe's face.  And maybe it was the comfort of being home or having all the emotions Junhoe was feeling, but he just sunk down and gave Daesung a kiss to the cheek.  He hadn't done that in some time.

"I missed you guys too," Junhoe sighed even if it hadn't been long since he saw them. Looking back and forth at them, he gave a soft smile, "A lot."

"Did something happen?" Daesung asked now with a soft tone, "Is it that Bobby boy?"

"I'll kill him—"

"No, it's quite the opposite," Junhoe laughed and squinted a little in thought, "We're not together, but we went out just a few days ago and we've been really close lately... Though I'm confused."

"Of course," Daesung sighed, "Go out your bags up in your room and then come down when you're ready."

"I think your uncles are coming over, so don't go pantless," Seunghyun kisses Junhoe's cheek.

"Whatever," Junhoe rolled his eyes and went upstairs, rolling his suitcase after himself.

There at the end of the hall with a chalkboard hanging from the door read  _'Ju-Ne's World'_ with delicate hearts and sparkles decorating it. He hadn't stepped foot in there since he left for college. Usually, he slept in the guest room, too torn to face his old self and too scared he'll throw it all away.

Finally, he opened the door to be revealed the pretty peach walls with white string lights running on the perimeter of the room at the ceiling. Hung up on the wall facing the door were pictures, there were Donghyuk and Jinhwan, along with Seunghyun and Daesung and his uncles as well. There were gaps in the wall too. Like there was once something or someone there. Underneath was a beautiful white study-desk neatly organized and a half-written poem sitting in its wake. Junhoe needs to throw that out. There were the bookshelves, his paintings, and artwork (god did he miss drawing), and his various quotes.

Junhoe sighed climbing into his gray bed that lay snug in a corner to face the whole room. He couldn't rest his head because they're looking to him was his closet open and waiting. Dresses, midriff tops, sweaters, and more feminine products sat mocking Junhoe. Groaning, he got back up and shut the doors of his closet and went back to his bed. Turning around to the back walls that surrounded Junhoe's bed, they were chalkboards. So, he picked up some chalk by his stand and just doodled.

Turns out Bobby was the only thing on his mind.

Grimacing at the little doodles of Bobby's name, Junhoe decided he was finished.  Getting up, he went and washed himself up.  His uncles didn't know he was home and he was excited to see them again.  They were as much his home as his brother and his lover.  Personally, he was at their homes more.  They were easier to just be around sometimes. Maybe he should dress nicely for them...

Junhoe looked in his suitcase and once again came to the conclusion the clothes in his carrier weren't good enough. Opening his closet again, he looked at the many different clothes and colors. It was like a unicorn barfed into it. It almost made him think black and white weren't superior, almost.

Junhoe quickly changed himself into an oversized white sweater with hearts decorating it and black leggings. Simple and cute, also something his uncle Taeyang purchased for him. He did some simple maintenance to make sure he looked presentable. Bobby would think he'd look nice and adore how cute Junhoe looked. He might look into bringing this sweater back with him.

"They're here," Daesung's voice came snapping Junhoe from his daydream. A soft gasp of surprise came from Daesung, "I didn't know you'd ever dress like that again."

"I wanted to look... nice," Junhoe shrugged as he put in small silver hoops. Turning to Daesung with a smile, "I just wanted to forget some things you know."

"Some things never die," Daesung softly said, "And some things are forgotten, but the wounds still there. You won't forget him."

"He's haunting me," Junhoe whispered and Daesung went over hugging his baby. Junhoe missed his warm embrace, the way he smelled like vanillas and the sun, and how he was fit, but not bulky.

"You have to let go," Daesung muttered.

"I can't let him go," Junhoe shook his head and Daesung sighed patting Junhoe's back.

"Come on down being with us will make you feel better," Daesung stated and grabbed Junhoe's hand pulling him along.

"Don't leave the toilet seat up, that's all I'm trying to say!" Jiyong exclaimed and Seungri gasped in mock care.

"Well, I'm sorry darling. It's not like we both pee standing up!" Seungri responded.

"I go into the bathroom as my safe place, Ri! This is the third time I've fallen in," Jiyong remarked.

"Are they arguing about a toilet seat?" Junhoe scoffed as he came down unnoticed until he spoke making the three newcomers gasp.

"Daisy!" Youngbae shouted, shoving Seungri and then Jiyong out of his way and towards Junhoe who he threw into his arms. Junhoe laughed loudly as he hugged him back, wrapping his legs around him immediately and latching on.

"Hyung!" Junhoe yelled in excitement as they spun around.

"You didn't tell us he was coming home!" Jiyong gasped and the two just shrugged at him.  Seungri went over poking Youngbae.

"Excuse me, I would like my turn," Seungri remarked, but Junhoe shook his head as he hugged Youngbae tighter.

"I missed my second favorite person," Junhoe whispered.

"Second?" Youngbae asked in horror.

"Sungie is number one," Junhoe informed and Youngbae nodded in understanding. Sighing, Junhoe got down and threw his arms around Seungri, "Hi hyung, I missed you too."

"Where do I place in your favorite hyungs?" Seungri asked now and Junhoe smacked his lips as he looked over his shoulder with wide eyes.

"You're five for five," Junhoe laughed nervously as he rushed to Jiyong before Seungri could figure it out.

"Hey there, star," Jiyong grabbed his face and smiled softly as he kissed his forehead, "Pleasure seeing you."

"How's Ai?" Junhoe asked about his cat. It was something Junhoe found and brought into Jiyong and Seungri's home.  He found it with his ex, but that was one of the good things he got from him.

"A perfect as ever," Jiyong responded, "You should come to see him."

"I think I will!" Junhoe remarked and looked around at them.  Each person looked so happy and lively, like the life of the party.  Yet there was nothing grand or spectacular.  Just five older guys in their late 20s early 30s happy to see their beloved child.

"Why  _are_  you home?" Seungri tilted his head and the other two gasped in realization too.  Immediately Jiyong grabbed a knife with squinted eyes.

"Who the fuck am I cutting?" Jiyong hissed and Daesung bristled as the knife.

"That's my good kitchen knife, we use this for eating," Daesung whispered and handed him a ladle with jagged edges, "This is what we use to cut someone."

"It still has bits of that Joon-boy in the teeth," Seunghyun muttered and Junhoe rolled his eyes at the mention of his name.

"Can we shut up about Namjoon?  It's like when I'm ready to move on and finally open a new chapter of my life he keeps popping up!" Junhoe responded in an exasperated tone. 

"What do you mean popping up?" Youngbae asked with a tilted head.  Junhoe covered his face screaming into his hands. 

"Ah, you sound like your mother," Seunghyun sighed making Daesung slug him in the chest. 

"Don't even worry about it," Junhoe grumbled as he looked to them, "I just want to forget about him."

"But how can you if he's popping up?" Seungri asked and Junhoe screamed again beginning to jump up and down like an exasperated teenager.  Daesung walked over and grabbed the sides of his face.

"Calm down, calm down," Daesung whispered, "Just talk to us."

"I just—I had a dream and...it scared me," Junhoe admitted, "And life is changing so fast; I thought home would just be nice to come back to."

"Does anyone know you're here?" Daesung asked softly and Junhoe shook his head.

"I turned my phone off," Junhoe admitted.

"That's why Donghyuk and Jinhwan have been blowing my phone up," Seunghyun realized, Junhoe's eyes widened slightly as he took his phone out and unlocked it.

"They we're messaging you and you didn't answer them?" Jiyong asked and Seunghyun shrugged.

"I'm a busy man," Seunghyun remarked.

"Doing what, hyung?" Youngbae asked and Seunghyun hugged Daesung tight.

"Being happy and in love and an empty nester," Seunghyun answered making them laugh.

"Oh god—" Junhoe scoffed seeing all the messages and calls flood in. He felt bad for having just left his friends who were also his roommates out the loop, but then he felt even worse seeing messages and calls from Chanwoo, Yunhyeong, and Hanbin. The worst was when he saw Bobby's calls and messages.

**_—23 Missed calls from Nani_ **  
**_—26 Missed calls from DongDong_ **  
**_—32 Missed calls from babo bunny_ **  
**_—14 Missed calls from Chanu_ **  
**_—21 Missed calls from Yunnie_ **  
**_—13 Missed calls from Ha-BINS_ **

Junhoe looked to the voicemails and opened the first one he saw, which was from Hanbin.  He wondered what he even had to say. 

"This is from Donghyuk's boyfriend," Junhoe softly scoffed as he pressed play for the voicemail, but Youngbae bristled.

"He has a boyfriend? I'm like his dad— why don't I  _know_ this?" Youngbae asked with offense in his tone, which he had full right to feel since Donghyuk kind of crashed at his place as a teen a lot.  It wasn't like his home life was bad, but because he just really liked Youngbae's home and he learned dancing and singing from Youngbae. Also because he was jealous Junhoe spent time with him and thought Youngbae was hot. 

**_"Hey-Hey Junhoe! Um, this is like my 12th call to you.  I've been calling for some time and you usually just send a message you're ignoring me if you don't answer.  This is out of character for you.  You haven't even answered Jinhwan..." Hanbin sighed softly, "Please give one of us a call... If you don't respond or if we don't get wind of where you are, we will alert authorities.  Please be safe, bye."_ **

Junhoe softly laughed, shaking his head a little as he found the voicemail, which was from Chanwoo.  Softly he said, "This is one of Jinhwan's boyfriends."

"One?" Jiyong asked and Junhoe nodded, "He has two right?"

"Mhm," Junhoe nodded as he pressed the play button.

**_"Hyung, what's going on?" Chanwoo whispered, "You're like my new close friend and you've gone missing... is it because of my relationship? Are you mad I left you alone? I know we bonded over being single, so I'm sorry I didn't warn you. Please call, Nani is so worried. I'm worried," Chanwoo sighed and the phone clicked._ **

Junhoe's heart felt heavy as he sat down, pressing for Yunhyeong's voicemail now going quiet.

**_"June-Ah, where are you? I'm very worried. I hope your safe and being well fed, are you not? Yunnie Hyung can come and feed you dumplings. Please call, I'm worried. I'm so worried," Yunhyeong muttered into the phone._ **

Junhoe frowned slightly as he scrolled to the next call to see it was Jinhwan, himself. He knew this wouldn't be easy.

**_"Junnie, it's me, darling," Jinhwan called softly, "I know you get sad. You get so sad, baby. And I know everything's changing... I need to know you're okay and not somewhere hurting yourself or— worse. Maybe I haven't been a great friend, ditching you and leaving you alone more because I have two new men in my life. I shouldn't do that, but I have and I'm sorry. Just call me please, I want to hear your voice."_ **

Was Junhoe crying? Junhoe wiped his wet lashes and sighed softly. A hand came to his shoulder, looking over it was Youngbae. Junhoe rested his head back into his stomach and sighed contently as he pressed Donghyuk's.

**_"I've called you a lot recently— it was to ask if I could borrow your shoes, but you never answered. You always answer me. Always," Donghyuk let out a soft sob, "Are you okay, friend? If you're not okay, that's okay because we can totally talk. I love you so much. You were my first crush and my first best friend— what's wrong friend? Why aren't you here? I've looked everywhere and you aren't here! Is it because of Hanbin? Have I left you alone? I'm sorry— I have, haven't I? It's never me not talking about Hanbin, the fact you always have to deal with my shenanigans. Well, no more! You and me, you sub! So call me okay? Or I'll call your dad and you won't like me for that!"_ **

Junhoe let out a soft sob himself as he laughed, letting his sweater dab up his tears. He found the first from Bobby. So many emotions rushed him. He called and texted the most, he was so worried it seemed.

This could hurt their relationship and Junhoe really, really wanted one with him.

**_"Oh— Beautiful," Bobby huffed, loud sounds could be heard in the back. Junhoe could make it out to be the others, "Beautiful Princess, Where did you run off to? Did it hit midnight and you needed to rush because your carriage became a pumpkin again? I found your glass slipper, a copy of your ticket to Daegu. I'm hoping that's right... Did you go home? Why didn't you tell us? Please tell me you went home... I'm worried sick. You're too beautiful, too young if something were to happen to you. If something did happen— I don't know what I'd do. It'll be okay, Princess. We can slow down. We can talk. Or you can shut me out... I know you remember him. What he said to you... I won't because those are childish words. Junhoe— Princess— call me, I care about you."_ **

Junhoe held the phone close to him now as he let out his cries. His heart was breaking, how could he leave them like that? How could he be so shitty?

And it was true, it was all so true.

He felt so neglected and so sad. They had new men in their lives and they left him to flounder on his own. How could they?

And Bobby—how was he supposed to keep up with how fast his heart raced around him? It was too fast and too rapid, much faster than Junhoe could allow and react. He did things,  _said_ things about Bobby. Wrote things about him and more. How dare his heart do that?

His heart was so twisted and upset.

"Junhoe," Daesung called, "You should call your friends."

"Mm," Junhoe nodded as he looked at his contacts. Taking a moment, he thought, who to call. He wanted someone calm when they answered, not someone who'd burst into tears and scold him.

"Princess?" Bobby's voice came softly and Junhoe broke into a smile as he hugged himself, leaning towards the phone.

"Hi Hyung," Junhoe whispered and Bobby let out a sigh of relief, "Where are you?"

"My room, I had to get away from the hysteria," Bobby admitted and there was a pause, "You're okay, right?"

"I will be," Junhoe responded and Bobby made a soft 'hmm' sound, "I'm at my parents' place."

"Oh, crap— Am I on speaker? Is Sungie there? I  _love_ Sungie!" Bobby yelled and Daesung laughed as he leaned over.

"Hi Wonnie, we meet again!" Daesung exclaimed.

"Aww, Wonnie," Jiyong cooed, "That's so cute!"

"That's my uncle Jiyong," Junhoe responded.

"Call me G-Drag- _on_ ," Jiyong licked his thumbs and rubbed them over his eyebrows.

"Just call him G," Seungri rolled his eyes, "I'm Seunghyun too, but call me Seungri."

"Oh," Bobby chuckled, "Hi G hyung and Seungri hyung."

"I'm Youngbae, but I like Taeyang," Youngbae spoke up.

"Or sol because he's the sun and I love the sun!" Junhoe squealed and hugged him tightly.

"You'rethe  _only_ person who's allowed to call me Sol," Youngbae responded as he carded his hand in Junhoe's hair with a soft smile, "Anyone else is not my favorite person ever."

"Nice to meet you sol-hyung," Bobby snickered and spoke quickly again, "I mean—I mean! Taeyang hyung."

"Hi Bobby," Seunghyun spoke up and Bobby got quiet. Somehow Seunghyun had the power to be intimidating on and off the phone.

"Hi hyung," Bobby whispered and the others laughed at him.

"Yeah, I just wanted to come home," Junhoe responded to Bobby who clicked his tongue,

"So, suddenly?"

"Mhm," Junhoe responded.

"I didn't do anything?" Bobby asked softly and Junhoe wanted to say, 'you did  _everything'._

"No," Junhoe laughed, "Of course not silly!  You've been great company, but can you take me to the front?  I want everyone else to just hear my voice."

"Of course," Bobby agreed and they listened to him shuffle about and then the loud sounds of cries.

"Where could he be?" Jinhwan exclaimed, "I'm so scared, Yunhyeong!"

"Calm down, he's safe.  He has to be," Yunhyeong yelled to the hysterical boy.

"How do you know?  You don't even know him!" Donghyuk shouted, "I want my best friend! I want my best friend now!"

"Hey!" Bobby yelled and held the phone up, "Listen you idiots!"

And they all got quiet as the tension started to dwindle because they thought it was—

"Hi guys, it's me. Junnie," Junhoe stated softly into the phone.  He had such a quiet voice, soft and endearing.

"Oh my god!  Junhoe!" Jinhwan shouted as the phone was snatched from Bobby's clutches, "Are you okay, baby? Are you fed? Where are you? We can come to get you!"

"Best friend! Best friend!" Donghyuk yelled as he rushed over, "Tell us where you are! Please, we miss you.  Come home— no, we'll come and get you— fuck our boyfriends, honestly.  It's us forever, fuck guys—"

"Okay, babe.  He gets it," Hanbin called.

"It's fine guys, but I'm back home.  In Daegu, not the apartment," Junhoe responded and the response wasn't any better.

"YOU WENT HOME WITHOUT US?" They yelled and Junhoe rolled his eyes.

"I could have seen Ai," Jinhwan sighed.

"I could have seen Youngie hyung," Donghyuk whined.

"You two complain a lot," Seungri laughed making them gasp.

"Oh my god, they're there?! Hi!" Donghyuk shouted, "we miss you guys!"

"We miss you guys too," Youngbae stated.

"Is everything okay, Junhoe Hyung?" Chanwoo asked now and Junhoe gave a faint smile.

"I'm totally okay, I just needed to come home," Junhoe admitted.

"We shouldn't keep him long then," Hanbin spoke up, "We can drive up there too if you want..."

"No, no it's fine," Junhoe spoke up, "I just wanted to go home."

"And nothing's wrong?" Yunhyeong asked and the question hung in the air.  Junhoe sat there and swallowed.

"It's fine," Junhoe whispered, "I gotta go."

"Bye!"  _Click_  went the phone as Junhoe hung up and took a deep breath.

"At least you know they love you," Seunghyun smiled softly.  Junhoe nodded but felt choked up.

"I'm going to go to my room," Junhoe pushed past them and rushed up the stairs, tears were falling down his face because things were not alright.  Things didn't feel right. 

Junhoe threw himself into his bed as he's done many times before, hitting it over and over again before he went face first into his pillow and just cried.  Big ugly sobs because he missed his friends and he wanted to tell them everything, but he didn't.  He didn't because he was scared and he didn't want to be vulnerable.  That was weak.

And-And he missed Bobby, he missed him so much. The way he smelled, the way he smiled.  How he wasn't the standard beauty in Korea, but god did he care? No.  He was so ethereal and so unreal.  It was crazy.  And he missed— dare he say, the pet names. Yes, he just got off the phone with them, but they weren't right here.  No... And he had worried them sick.

He couldn't do that anymore.

"Sweetheart?" Daesung called.

"Go away!" Junhoe yelled.

"Wow, that sounds all too familiar," Seunghyun chuckled.

"How many times has he said that?" Seungri teased, "the one time his makeup melted, the one time he got into a fight—"

"Okay!" Junhoe yelled as he turned over, "Leave me alone!"

"Mm," Jiyong thought as he climbed into bed, "No, make room for us."

"Yeah," Daesung got in hugging Junhoe, "We love you too much to leave you alone."

"Make room for me," Seunghyun grunted as he picked Junhoe up and sat under him, hugging his waist.  It made Junhoe feel small again.

"Boy trouble?" Seungri asked as he got in, squishing into Jiyong as he gazed at Junhoe who sniffled with a nod, "Forget them!"

"Who need boys when you got triple chocolate fudge cake ice cream?" Youngbae exclaimed as he came in with six tubs of ice cream and spoons.  Junhoe gasped as he reached for his tub and threw it open, sighing right in.

"We always stay stocked on that stuff because we never know when we need instant boy trouble ice cream," Daesung informed and Junhoe sniffled again as he shoved his mouth full.

"It's so good," Jiyong sighed as he ate his tub.

"I think this is a plus to shitty problems," Seungri spoke with a mouthful.

"Guys—" Junhoe cried softly as he looked around at them, "I love you so much."

"We love you too."

"But what's going on?" Daesung asked as he sat up, moving to the where Youngbae was to give Junhoe his full attention.

"I had a dream..." Junhoe sighed.

"You had a dream?"  Seunghyun repeated, "What was it about?"

"I don't know... I woke up feeling great, probably from a night of well, sex, and I was being called to.  And I went to him.  It was Jiwon... It was so real and so vivid.  I was so happy," Junhoe grinned and then stabbed his ice cream, "And then it was Namjoon and he... well—"

"He did it again?" Youngbae asked and Junhoe nodded.

"He raped me," Junhoe let out a soft sob, "And I don't know what that means, why I have to be reminded of that night.  An-And I've been seeing Bobby and then boom... this happens.  I keep getting reminded about him and then I pull back... I'm so scared."

"It's a dream," Daesung started slowly, "A nightmare, I know it seems real, but it's not.  It's just a past image leeching onto your present happiness.  Wonnie is great and you are great.  You are bright, beautiful and so wonderful.  Namjoon turned your life into a living hell and you're finally getting your life back, do not let him continue to have control of you."

"But—"

"No buts you live your life, dresses, skirts, all of it.  Date whoever; be whoever because guess what we'll love you for whoever you are.  People come and people go, but us?  Me? I'll love you forever and I only get one you," Daesung whispered as he grabbed Junhoe's face, "Don't make my greatest joy suffer."

Junhoe just let his head fall forward and let himself cry some more.  They were happy tears though because no matter what, he had them.  They would be ready to cuddle and eat ice cream no matter what. 

This was unconditional love and he missed that.


	8. 八

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Home isn't the same and it sends Junhoe running back to the reason he ran home in the first place.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He missed him.

Not Donghyuk, not Jinhwan, but Bobby.

As he laid in bed alone now, he was thinking about him.  About how he missed him dearly.  And he couldn't believe himself for missing Bobby.  Why did he?

Junhoe's eyes flicked to the door to see someone he probably really needed to see and that was Youngbae.  He held two hot bars in hand as he gave Junhoe a smile.  The older man gave the younger the food bar and lowered down onto the bed. 

"Why'd you come up?" Junhoe asked softly making Youngbae sigh.  He looked like he had something heavy on his chest as he rubbed his neck.

"Junhoe, I... firstly, how are you?"  Youngbae questioned, Junhoe lazily munched on his hot bar as he slowly deflated.  This made Youngbae continue and say, "Not good?"

"I miss someone," Junhoe whispered, "I thought home would be good for me, but he's not here and that makes this all seem so... bitter.  I came home because I thought I needed to be away from him and—"

"You miss him more than ever," Youngbae nodded, "Maybe you pay his bus fare and have him come up, I don't know."

"Hm, maybe," Junhoe rubbed his cheek as he thought as he stared at his hot bar distastefully, "Is something wrong?"

"Why do you—why do you ask?" Youngbae scratched at his neck as he looked at Junhoe, "Did you—did you notice something?"

Junhoe sat there looking at him, his hands were twitchy and his eyes were wide and accusing.  This wasn't his TaeTae.  Something was going on that Junhoe didn't know.

"What is it?" Junhoe demanded, "Is it Sungie and my hyung?  Are they—"

"No!" Youngbae exclaimed as he flailed his arms, "They are happy and very much in love.  And you living your life has only made them happier."

Junhoe flattered as he let out a soft, "oh."  Then he perked up again as he tilted his head, "Then what is it?"

"It's..." Youngbae bit his lip, "We've always been five—"

"Plus me!" Junhoe yelled making Youngbae smile softly as he stroked his cheek and then kissed his forehead.

"Plus you," Youngbae sighed, "There's been some trouble between—"

"That's what you always say!"  A loud yell came suddenly, along with a bang.  Junhoe stood up abandoning his treat and the conversation because that yell sounded like Jiyong. 

"What's going on?" Junhoe whispered, Youngbae reached for him trying to pull him back down to sit, but Junhoe was up and ready to go. "I have to go check."

"Jun—" 

Though it was far too late because the boy was rushing down the stairs, hearing the argument, the words, their exchange.  And it was toxic.

"I  _trusted_  you, Seunghyun," Jiyong said pointedly to Seungri, even going as far to use his name without even calling him little Seunghyun.  Immediately Junhoe knew this was serious. The last time Jiyong called Seungri, Seunghyun— Jiyong moved into Junhoe's room (truthfully Junhoe enjoyed his company).

"That's not my fault," Seungri hissed, "You knew what I was doing."

"How was I supposed to know huh?  Because we laid in the same bed every night?  Because we shared the same house?  Because we promised ourselves to each other?" Jiyong growled, "I knew something was wrong, yes, but to know you were out here sleeping with _whomever and whatever_?"

It was like the floor left from underneath Junhoe, what little truth he thought he knew was slipping away.  He thought they were happy and in love.  And here they were—

"I never wanted the pressure you or any of these other fucking guys gave me," Seungri spat back, "Did you think about me?  If I wanted to be with you?  If I wanted to be subjected to Daesung every day?  I didn't even want to be friends with these guys—"

"You watch yourself," Seunghyun bit out, "We allowed  _you_  to join  _us_."

"We've only ever been kind to you and love you, little Seung..." Daesung was so quiet, "I didn't care when you burst out in anger, I've only tried to help—"

"I don't want your help!" Seungri shouted, "I didn't tell you guys to have faith in me, to trust me.  Do you know how relieved I was when Junhoe left? How happy I was when he was out of our hair?"

"W-W-What?" Junhoe stuttered out, he held onto the railing of the stairs with a death grip. All of their eyes were wide looking back at him. Squeaking out, "Y-You wanted me  _gone?_ "

"No!" Daesung yelled, shaking his head, "We never wanted you to leave the nest. We lov—"

"Don't lie to him. He drove everyone mad," Seungri spoke up, "Dressing like a little girl, no wonder you were raped—"

"That's enough, get out of my house!" Seunghyun yelled as he rushed forward to grab onto Seungri.

"Don't fucking touch me!" Seungri shouted as he dodged his arm, "I'm just saying what everyone's been thinking. If he wasn't your little brother, you'd never have done what you did. You wouldn't have left your family, you wouldn't have—"

"You don't know shit," Seunghyun growled, "You're the one we don't want."

"Junhoe, let's go back to your room, darling," Youngbae reached for Junhoe, but it felt like a fire against his skin causing Junhoe to snatch away.

"Don't touch me!" Junhoe screamed as he got onto level ground, "No one touch me!"

"Junhoe—"

"No!" Junhoe yelled, "I thought home would make sense, that it would be comforting and welcoming... That it didn't change. Turns out everything's a lie!"

"Things change," Seungri spat, "deal with it."

"Don't you speak to him," Jiyong turned to his boyfriend? Ex? Junhoe didn't know, didn't care. He just shoved past them.

"Junhoe! Junhoe where are you going?!" Daesung yelled, but the door slammed in his face the moment he got close enough.

Junhoe kept walking, his feet carried him quickly and hastily as far away from his home as they could.  The night was warm, but still a bit frigid.  The sky was dark with twinkling stars looking down at Junhoe.  Thought to Junhoe he felt cold and in suffocating darkness. 

"Ah!" Junhoe screamed out as he tripped, falling hard onto the cold, unforgiving ground.  It was like the wind got knocked out of him and the only sound that could come out was a broken sob.  He just laid there, sobbing until he couldn't breathe.  He needed someone— he wanted only one person, the one man he was running from. 

So, Junhoe haphazardly took his phone out and pressed the speed-dial for Bobby's number.  Immediately on the first ring, Bobby answered.

"Pretty woman," Bobby said with a chipper tone only making Junhoe sob out.  Bobby immediately sat up, concern in his tone, "What's wrong?"

"Jiwon~," Junhoe cried into the phone now.

"Where are you, baby?" Bobby asked, getting up and grabbing his stuff.  Junhoe huffed out more sobs as he shook.

"I don't know— I-I fell and I don't know," Junhoe cried out.

"Can you get up for me?" Bobby asked softly and Junhoe nodded as he pushed himself off the ground.

"'M up," Junhoe muttered eliciting a relieved sigh from Bobby.

"Okay, now beautiful look around.  Find something that can cement where you are for me.  So, I can come to you—"

"And hug me? And-and kiss me?" Junhoe asked quietly, Bobby's heart wanted to break.  He sounded so broken.

"That and more, so look around.  Find a street name, a weird tree, how far from your house— anything," Bobby informed and Junhoe made a soft 'okay'. Junhoe limped around, his eyes adjusting to the dark.  Soon, he could see the faraway lights and the alleyway he must have come from.

"I'm near downtown Daegu... by the dance-school me, Hyukkie, and Wannie Hyung used to go to... I'm close to our old hangout," Junhoe turned around to see their own tent set up back in the trees, "I found our tent... it's like down on blossom road, near the park."

"Where all those trees are?" Bobby asked.

"Yes," Junhoe whispered as he got down, wincing in pain.  He put in the code for the lock and unzipped the tent and then turned on the lights to see it was just how they left it, "It's home."

"I'll be there soon," Bobby stated, "stay put."

"I will," Junhoe muttered as he fell face first into a pillow and onto the mattress.  It was a rather big tent and had a whole lot of junk they stole from their houses to make this into their hangouts. So they could hide away sometimes

Junhoe spent the most time here.  His eyes grew heavy as he went into dreamland

_"Boys are so icky!" Donghyuk yelled as he got into the tent, "but so cute!"_

_"Pick a side," Junhoe responded as he sat down on his beanbag.  Jinhwan rolled his eyes at the pair as he zipped the tent up and locked it from the inside._

_"Says the boy who's going to be dating Kim Namjoon," Donghyuk remarked making Junhoe giggle and push his face down into his skirt._

_"Am not," Junhoe said back._

_"Are too," Donghyuk stated._

_"Omega."_

_"Says the Omega."_

_"Says the Omega to the Alpha."_

_"Says the Omega in a dress!"_

_"Hey!" Junhoe yelled, pushing at him, "You got me this!"_

_"Yeah because it brings out your submission," Donghyuk stuck his tongue out at him._

_"Okay, quit it you two omegas, a beta is talking," Jinhwan sat back on his legs as he outstretched popsicles to them. "No boy talk."_

_"But boys are cute," Donghyuk whined._

_"And we have boy troubles!" Junhoe exclaimed._

_"Shh, just eat your popsicles for me," Jinhwan nodded, "then we can talk about other things."_

_"Like how Daesung is s pregnant?" Donghyuk asked making Junhoe choke on his popsicle. "WHAT? He has been looking plump."_

_"How did you pass biology—"_

Junhoe rolled about, waking up with tears soaking his cheeks.  He sat up to hear cracking and clicking.  Fear coursed through him as he forgot all about Bobby. 

"Go away!" Junhoe yelled when the light shined on the tent. 

"Junhoe!" Bobby's voice came, "Junhoe, it's me!"

"Bobby?" Junhoe gasped as he came up to the opening, but he froze at the lock, "You aren't someone else?  You're not going to hurt me?"

"I promise," Bobby's voice came again and slowly Junhoe undid the lock and opened the tent.  Bobby sat on his knees before the tent and Junhoe let out a happy sound as he threw himself into him.  Bobby's arms wrapped around him immediately, holding tight around his waist and the other behind his head.

"Jiwon, jiwon, jiwon," Junhoe babbled as he pressed his face into his neck. He was real and he was here, he came when Junhoe needed him. And that struck him as a sob came out of him.

Bobby didn't ask anything; he just held a hand onto the back of Junhoe's head, turning his forehead up as he kissed it gently. After some time things grew quiet and Junhoe wasn't shaking as badly.

"Junhoe—"

"You're happy to have met me right?" Junhoe leaned back, looking up at Bobby. The older furrowed his brows as he arms stayed around Junhoe's waist.

"I'm blessed to have met you," Bobby responded, "It was the happiest day of my life."

"Don't lie!" Junhoe screamed out as he tried to wiggle away, but Bobby was stronger holding onto him tighter.

"I wouldn't get to see your beautiful face," Bobby remarked, "I wouldn't get to hear your voice— I  _love_ your voice, don't you know that? I wouldn't get to go on adventures with you. I wouldn't get to hold you close. Junhoe— look at me."

"Stop," Junhoe's voice died in his throat as he turned his head to face Bobby. He sat there with a tear coming down his cheeks, it stopped Junhoe making him ask, "Why are you crying?" as he placed his hands into Bobby's face.

"You're hurt," Bobby whispered as he shook his head, "and I wish I could take some of that pain away."

"Jiwon," Junhoe muttered as he came up and hugged around his neck. Junhoe gulped as he spoke quietly, "I ran home because I thought home would be the same, that it would make sense."

"Home isn't the same?" Bobby asked and Junhoe nodded.

"Nowhere near being the same," Junhoe hiccuped as he rubbed his eyes, "I was running you know..."

"From what?" Bobby questioned and Junhoe leaned back. Scrunching his nose up at how cute Bobby looked awaiting his answer.

"You," Junhoe said quietly, "I was scared because I..."

"Me? Did I do something wrong?" Bobby gasped, fear flooded him and Junhoe immediately shook his head. "Then what?"

"Because I feel so  _happy_ around you," Junhoe admitted, "I feel so free and natural around you. You don't care about what I wear, what I like, whatever it is because you just want me to be happy. And you look at me like—"

"A princess," Bobby interrupted and Junhoe nodded quickly.

"Exactly! And I had a dream about you and it was beautiful, but then it changed and what if you aren't so great? What if I'm not so great— what if you are just like Namjoon— what if... what if liking you hurts me?" Junhoe looked up at Bobby now as he softly said it and Bobby's eyes twinkled at him.

"You like me?" Bobby asked and Junhoe scoffed.

"Is that all you heard?" Junhoe questioned, but nodded again.

"I promise, I'm not some little boy. I won't dare try to harm you," Bobby remarked, "I'd die before that'd happen."

"Jiwon," Junhoe whispered as he hands ran up on Bobby's neck. A sniffle came from Junhoe, "how are you so sure?"

"You just have to trust," Bobby remarked and Junhoe let out a shaky breath.

"Okay," Junhoe looked back at the tent and sighed. He felt a lot warmer than he once had.

"You done here?" Bobby questioned and Junhoe nodded, finally Bobby let him go. The boy crawled over to the tent and peered inside one more time. There sat on a box was a picture of the three of them with Youngbae trying to hold them up all at once. Junhoe let out a giggle as he took the picture and backed out, locking it back up.

"Can we get somewhere warm? I'm freezing," Junhoe stated as he and Bobby got up feeling a lot better.

"Come on," Bobby swiftly picked up Junhoe, "I got a nice room waiting for us." 

—

Junhoe dried off his hair as he came into the hotel room. He stood in one of Bobby's sweatshirts and a new pair of leggings Bobby bought for him.

Junhoe climbed up on the bed, sitting criss-cross as he sat alone. Bobby ran out to get them some food to eat. Lifting his phone up, Junhoe turned it on finally after shutting it off to get some peace. There were many calls and messages from his friends and a lot from his brother and his friends, minus Seungri.

Junhoe pressed the number he needed and waited.

"Junhoe," Jiyong let out a relieved breath, "You're not hurt are you superstar?"

"No," Junhoe mumbled as he pulled the sleeves over his hands. There was silence for some time as they sat in each others' silence until Junhoe blurted out, "Why did you tell me?"

"I knew it would kill you," Jiyong responded and Junhoe scoffed.

"But for you to act like everything was okay?" Junhoe remarked, "For all of you to act like he isn't—"

"I didn't think he'd ever go after you," Jiyong hissed, "Nothing excuses the way he spoke to you or any of us."

"Is it true?" Junhoe muttered.

"What?" Jiyong asked quietly.

"That you all were happy I left?" Junhoe questioned, his hand fisted into the sheets as he waited, but he didn't need to wait long.

"We were devastated you left, but you needed to go and grow. All of you," Jiyong responded as he sniffled, "It was always so hard for me to get close to you because it was like I had to watch my own kid. I never saw anything wrong with having to miss out on your dance recitals and your school nights to pacify him... I'm so sorry, I missed out on so much." There was crying now from both ends.

"I just thought it was because I was so different, but no—" Junhoe cut himself off as he hiccuped, "You were the one who snuck me out of the house and helped me find the right dresses, you're the one who taught me how to do make-up."

"Remember how Seunghyun wanted to kill me because you stuck yourself in the eye?" Jiyong laughed and Junhoe snorted covering his mouth.

"My make-up got taken for weeks," Junhoe remarked as he rolled his eyes, "I always thought it'd be you and Sol-hyung that would end up together."

"Huh?" Jiyong asked.

"He always looked at you with such love and he always ran to your aid. Like, remember when Ri suddenly forgot to come and get you from the airport and you were stranded? Sol-hyung rushed to you. He said no one would ever be as great as you," Junhoe sighed. "I think that's why he never settled down because he was always worried about you, his best friend."

"His... best friend..." Jiyong muttered, "Junhoe, are you trying to tell me something?"

"I'm just saying Sol-hyung loves you so much," Junhoe responded as he sniffled, "And that it's okay you missed out because we can make up for it now right?"

"We can..." Jiyong whispered, "He's never coming back, I promise."

"Good," Junhoe responded.

"I almost forgot to ask, are you safe?" Jiyong asked, "Do I need to come to get you?"

"Guess who got ramen, chicken, and beer?" Bobby yelled as he came into the room with steaming how bowls and a bag. Junhoe giggled as he got up out of the bed and waited for Bobby to place the food down.

"I'm safe," Junhoe laughed as he was wrapped into Bobby's arms as the older boy pressed his face into Junhoe's neck.

"I missed you," Bobby groaned.

"I'm going to go find Youngbae. You enjoy your company," Jiyong said with a light laugh, "Goodbye, I love you."

"I love you too Ji-hyung," Junhoe stated as he hung up and threw his phone back. He threw his arms around Bobby's shoulders letting the older boy spin him around making hi, laugh, "I missed you too!"

"So, crazy story!" Bobby let Junhoe go, so the younger got back onto the bed and took the food, "I went to one of those stores that have the ramen making stations and I ordered chicken, but anyways—I don't know how the ramen making stations work! Princess, when I say I stood there confused for 15 minutes, I mean picture a wet Korean man standing in front of a machine begging it to give the hot water!"

"Jagiya!" Junhoe laughed, "You didn't need to put yourself through all of that trouble."

"Look, I wanted the food to be comforting," Bobby climbed up on the bed. Junhoe smiled softly and nodded as he stirred his ramen.

"Did you get Pork?" Junhoe asked as he lifted the noodles up to his mouth slurping away, "Mm, yes you did."

"Good?" Bobby asked and Junhoe covered his mouth as he nodded.

"Tasty!"

After a while of eating in comfortable silence, Bobby threw away their trash. Junhoe stretched his arms up as he smacked his lips, slurring out, "Am I red, jagiya?"

"Just a little," Bobby chuckled as he caught Junhoe pushing him back on the bed.

"I feel normal, but I'm puffy and red from crying and drinking," Junhoe whined making Bobby kiss his cheek and laugh.

"You're so cute, Jjingjiing-i," Bobby remarked as he got onto the bed. Junhoe whimpered as he turned around and felt into Bobby's chest.

"You're so handsome," Junhoe said as he reached up giggling, "And your hair is so curly and cute."

"Mine?" Bobby asked, "Your hair is getting so long."

"Yeah," Junhoe pushed himself back up to sit on his legs, "I like when my hair is long, but I get self-conscious."

"That's okay, we all get self-conscious, don't we?" Bobby questioned and Junhoe nodded.

"Did you talk to my sub-friends?" Junhoe asked and Bobby snickered.

"Yes, they were really worried, but I cleared it all up," Bobby responded and sighed, "I'm sorry this happened."

"Nobody's perfect," Junhoe shrugged, "He just... lied about it all."

"Well, he's gone," Bobby assured, "I won't let him hurt you ever again."

"Even if I ran from you?" Junhoe whispered.

"You were scared," Bobby took Junhoe's hands, "Truthfully, I am too because there's still so much we don't know about each other, but I know one thing and that is you make me very happy."

"I do?" Junhoe lip trembled as he looked at him with big eyes and Bobby nodded.

"Yes angel," Bobby affirmed and Junhoe reached his sweatshirt paws up to Bobby's face as he threw himself onto the older boy, smushing their lips together haphazardly. Bobby and Junhoe laughed at their sloppy kiss, Bobby muttering, "You're so silly."

"I'm just happy you're here!" Junhoe exclaimed and came back down for another kiss, drowning in happiness and love.

"Pretty woman," Bobby groaned making Junhoe roll his eyes, but the smile tugged at his lips as Bobby sat them up. Junhoe sat up in his lap with his crescent eyes happily gazing at Bobby who's own eyes smiled at him.

"Shut up," Junhoe hit Bobby's chest a little. Though the older boy just scrunched his nose up at Junhoe as he pulled him closer, Junhoe's hands slid down to his arms as he looked him in the face. Bobby was so beautiful.

"On this lonely night, I wanna sleep in your arms," Bobby hummed, getting close to Junhoe making the younger blush as he held onto Bobby's biceps tightly.

"I do," Junhoe admitted quietly, "I want to be in your arms always."

"In my arms, no harm can come to you. I promise," Bobby's voice was quiet and Junhoe trusted every word. He nodded as his eyes lidded and wrapped his sleeve-covered hands onto the base of Bobby's neck as they kissed again. Soft and slow, like a promise.

Soon after Bobby reached to the nightstand and turned the light off, letting only the light from out the balcony illuminate inside. Laying down, Bobby held Junhoe tight whispering to him, "I want you to be your light, baby. You should be your light, so you won't hurt anymore, so you can smile more."

"Bobby," Junhoe nuzzled him gently as their legs tangled. Bobby peppered his shoulder with kisses as he chuckled.

"I'll help you get there," Bobby nodded, "But I have you now."

"Promise me?" Junhoe held up his pinky and Bobby wrapped his own pinky with his and kissed it.

"I promise you with all my love," Bobby muttered and Junhoe beamed wide.

For the rest of the night, the pair laid together saying sweet nothings and sharing kisses. It was their moment of bliss that would reign true forever. Their lonely nights would no longer be the same because now they had each other.

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, this is my first story on this platform! I'm excited and this is also my first iKon story that's been published. I'm very excited and hope you guys like it.
> 
> I want to try and make this as fun, nice, and pleasing as it can be, even when we get to those smutty bits. 
> 
> Anyways, thank you for reading so far.


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